Decisions...

Now of days, to post a post in my blog is harder than climbing a mountain.. Haha.. Darn slow! Thanks to the earthquake in Taiwan. Really hope the people there are alright though.

Having a heavy head while writing this post. Various things in head, running here and there... Work? Tonnes of works need to be done but few manpower... How to finish all those work? I have no idea myself, I can only give my best and leave the rest in God's hand. I don't wish to be a workaholic again, hence, I need to be super careful. I still make sure that I read my bible everyday and spent some time with Him. Don't dare to say that I have a perfect relationship with Him but all I know is I am not as prayerful as I am compared to the last few months.

Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be open for you. Yet you do not receive because you do no ask, even if you ask, you do not receive because you ask according to your own desires.

Now, I really hope that God can be merciful to me. I really wish that He will teachs me on how to pray a prayer that conform with His wills. A burden heart... Having tonnes of stuff in head.. Don't know what is my next step, not knowing how to solve all those problems and many more... A spiritual battle? Can I really have the strength to fight? You know it well that I am weary and weak. I am a hopeless sinner, a sinner that always break your heart. Rebellious among all.. How can I ever come out with something that is glorifying Your mighty name? HOW????

The pain is unbearable but who caused the pain but my own hand? God promised us freedom but why on earth am I trapping myself? Why didn't I get out from the cage when the cage is not even lock? God already unlock the cage but I still choose to be in the cage? How stupid is that? A decision need to be make. Is either this or that. Which to take? Reluctant? I already have an answer in my heart but will I stand firm on my decision? Another sad beginning like last year? Different case but I know the outcome will still be the same... At the end of the story, I know my heart will be broken.. Separating from my own desires is not as easy as I think it is...

Ignore me... This is the place where I blurt out every single thing that is in my heart... Some may understand my post, some may not. If you don't get what I am writing then just take it as it is... As long as God knows what is happening in my dull dull life..

Bila Harus Memilih

I was looking for this song for a very long time.. Today... Is my "lucky" day =P I found the song in YouTube... At last... Someone upload the song!!!! Weee... Enjoy..

Bila Harus Memilih
Siti Nurhaliza

(1)
Dulu, Kau Pernah Berjanji Pada Diriku
Untuk Menjaga Dan Menyayangiku
Itu Bererti Sampai Akhirnya
Kau Meninggalkanku

(2)
Kini, Kau Ingin Kembali Pada Hatiku
Setelah Kau Pergi Meninggalkanku
Haruskah Hati
Memberi Kesempatan Dirimu

(Chorus)
Haruskah Aku Percaya
Segala Yang Kau Ucapkan
Kata Kata Maafmu, Kata Kata Memohon
Untuk Kembali Kepadaku

Meski Cintaku Padamu
Lebih Dari Yang Kau Tahu
Namun Mengerti Kasih
Tak Semudahnya Itu
Melupakan Yang Telah Kau Lakukan Padaku

(3)
Beri Aku Waktu
Untuk Memikirkan Yang Terbaik
Cinta Jadi Dilema
Pergi Ataupun Kembali

Merry Christmas to all..

~MeRrY cHrIsTmAs~

A pleasant day isn't it?? Another year, another new beginning? =) I got tonnes of blessing throughout the day... Happy... Super happy... The most funniest thing is... A song that I got from Mike... Allow me to share this cute and creative song with all my readers. =)

Original version of Jingle Bells
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way,
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh, O
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way,
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh.

Mike's Version of jingle bells
Jingle bells, santa smells,
he stinks all the way.
When you smell that smelly smell
You'll know he's on his way.
Yucks!
Jingle bells, santa smells,
he stinks all the way.
when you see him take a gun
and shoot him on the head.
*Bang*

I can't stop laughing when I received this sms... Really madness.. I pass around to my cousin to enjoy the laugh =P Can you imgine? That guy..... Can't sleep..... EARLY morning, (01:56:39am) sent me this.... Hahaha... Best part is... I am still awake!! Hahah... Very very very very cute song isn't it? =P

Did Mary die? =P

Hmmm.. I actually forgot that I planned to write a post for my cute little LAs, Kenny and Ali. Haha.. Thanks for reminding me Kenny... Hahaha.. Opps... I revealed your name =P I doubt Ali is reading my blog, so doesn't matter.... Hahha..

I can't remember which day is it but if not mistaken, it is on the 19th of December 2006, Tuesday... I decided to go back to library and try to finish up the dwicode... Headache... So many to do! I don't know whether is that a blessing for Ali and Kenny to work with me on that day but I think it is a curse to work with me as I kept on giving them work to do during their duty hour. Hahaha.. Hey, you are on duty, what you expect me to do but give you work? Both of you seems very free to me =P I still remember the look on Ali's face... "I got work to do, I got work to do..." That is the only thing he uttered to me whenever I pass by him.. Hahaha.. Cute little guy..

I was bored as looking at the monitor and typing whole day... My brain doesn't seems to work properly on that day.. I have no idea why, suddenly I remember all those games and tricks that I learnt from camp. *Thinking* Since both of them are so stress up as I am there working with them, might as give them something to play... I started off with some tricks that I learnt from the camp... Nah... NOT FUN! Why? Because Kenny knows most of it... Cis... FINE la.. Hahha.. However, Ali didn't get most of it... Haha.. Funny~

I ran out of idea... Suddenly... I gave them a very simple questions... I thought they will figure it out very fast as I manage to catch the trick in few minutes time... Hahah.. I was so wrong! Hahah... They are more stress up before I gave them the question! Hahaha.. I asked them...

Listen carefully, did Mary die? Yes. Did Mary die? No. Now, did Mary die?

There's only boolean answer for this... Is either yes or no... Both of them are so cute!! Can you imagine? I was there basically repeating this question over and over and over.. They are tortured by this question for more than 2 hours if not mistaken... Hahah... It's 530pm and I wanted to go back but both of them kept on "sticking" to me like glue asking for the answer. Haha.. They even walked me down from the library to my car park lot! They tried to stop me and asked me to repeat the questions. Haha... SUPER CUTE!!!!

THEY ARE SO STRESS UP! Haha... When we are approaching my car... Ali managed to solve the question... Hahah.. Kenny was like.... Tak puas hati with me.. Hahah.. He asked me a 1 + 1 question yet I fall for it.. Hahah.. Enjoy myself on that day though... Hahah... I manage to tortured my colleagues =P I then fetch them to Kenny's car...

Only thing Ali asked before he left my car "Are you working tomorrow? Please don't come to work tomorrow as I am working" Hahahaa... Lucky for him as I am not free the day after... Hahah... I wonder how is his performance that day.. =P

AN IPOD!!@@!!!!!!

I don't know how to describe my feeling when after seeing this... IPOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! Down the drain...

Indian F4

I was just doing some updating in my blog and..... Vincent send me this site... Felt like vomiting! It is like insulting those people who are singing the song... Haha... Cute though.. They actaully called themself "Indian F4"??? Hahahah Enjoy..

Life after exam

A great week... Really thank God for every moment of my life... I was so lazy to update my blog... Been busy lately.. *scratch head* Hmm... Thinking back... What have I done??? Hahah.. Oh.... NOTHING~ =P I doubt anyone will fall for this "lie" of mine... Hahaha.. But the truth is... I really did nothing but enjoy myself till the max... Hmm... Isn't that doing "something"? =P

Well, I have been struggling so much in my DB and I believe that readers would like to know what happened during my final... *drum rolling* My DB test went on fine!!!! Praise the Lord... Yes, I survive! Can you imagine that? Going through all those hard time with DB and I manage to walk out of the exam hall unharmed! Halellujah! Haha.. No... I didn't manage to cover all the chapter by heart but just read through most of the chapter... I really thank God that the paper is not very very very tough for me to answer... It's tough but I think I can get a pass hahaha.. I came out of the exam hall with a puzzle mind though... Why? Confuse with the exam questions.... It looks easy but when you read properly, there are so many tricks there! I was reluctant on which to choose.. The exam hall is flood with my sweat... Hahaha...

Ok... Now.... Allow me to share with you on what I have done so far after my DB exam (my first paper and my last paper) *Holiday mode on* After the exam, I grab my bag, took my water bottle, chatting with Amy while going out from the exam hall... And.... GUESS WHERE I WENT???? *Can't wait to tell the reader the answer to readers* Faster guess! *Anticipating to tell*

Toilet? Hmmmmmm..................No........
To my precious darling car? Hmmmmmm................. No as well.
To cafe? Nah.................
To my friend's car and went out with them? Nop will do....

Anyone else would like to give the answer???
Hahaha... I actually went to the....................... *drum with backgroud music*

...... My Home.....
LIBRARY

Yes, tell me about it... I actually went there and finish up my half-done work then went back home at 5pm. Sigh.... LIFELESS~ *Thinking* Wait... This remind me of something.... *Thinking very hard* OOOOOHHHHHHH.... I got it!!!! Long ago, I came out with a slogan for my "Dear APIIT", which is.... APIITians = Lifeless. Now.... *Looking at myself* I AM AN APIITIAN! Sweat... No wonder I don't have a life.. Haha.. Well, at least I manage to get my work done for that day =)

Ah... 1 week after my exam.... I have go through many things in my life... =) Praise the Lord for all the blessing... I will continue my holiday story in the next post =) Till now... Adios..

Happy now?

I just wish to have a peaceful day... The hardest month of all... Can I just have a day off? For just one day... I am struggling with my DB study and that is not enough? What you actually want from me? Can't you just be direct? Why kept on pushing me to the end of the road? Can't you just be direct in your speech? What is in your mind that caused all this? I am trying my level best to let go of the past and live a life in the present but why forced me to think back on what happened last year? You always told me it's the past, let go of it for heaven sake and move on! Why now asking me to think back on what happened to us last year? Contradicting...

I just wish to get off fights.. That is what I want... I don't wish to start a fight yet at this time, when I am trying my level best to concentrate in my study for today final exam, you came in... Anything else you wish to add on? Any more comments? Any more places in me that made you feel unhappy about it? If yes, tell me now. Tell me straight and I appreciate that effort more than you can imagine. As you know, I hate people who go around the bushes then tell me what is in their heart indirectly, assuming that I know what is in their heart. I am not God.... This I need to clarify.. I am not God... I am not as "smart" as you think I am. Other girls might catch your message but not me! Tell me straight what you want from me! I am really tired of fighting with you without any reason. DARN TIRED!

Don't feel sorry for my life... I know what I am believing, I know what I am looking forward at. Sorry if you are not in the same line with me. We are from different background and culture. So don't take your own life as a benchmark for mine. It doesn't work that way. I don't wish to live a life like your's because I went through it previously... Yes, you might said what I went through are just peanuts compared to your's but it is more than enough to open up my "eyes". I know how different it is from who I am now. I choose to be in that way... I made the decision myself.

You haven taste what I have tasted, so don't straight away put a judgement on me that I don't have a life. My life, doesn't belong to me... It is God's... For your information, I haven study my DB at all due to many distraction... I am really tired in talking... Just tell me what you really want from me. A chance is given to you before I end this once and for all. I will not speak anything to you anymore unless I really need to speak. This will be the last... The last time I am writing all this. I am not in a good condition to take care of all this... I am tired..

Use whatever reverse phycology, phycology ways of your's on me.. I don't care nor mind... Use whatever thing that you think you can change me... I have no comment on it... All I want you to know is... It's useless... Because my stand will still be the same.. I will still choose to hold on to God. I think now it will be a joyful moment for you since I will officially leave your life. Enjoy the peacefulness....

Perseverance

Coming back from church with a troubled heart... Didn't realise how much damage I have done towards the people I love around me due to my immature way of thinking and own desires.. Why am I always bad at that area? Why can't I just put trust in Him without thinking twice? Why am I reluctant? As a child of God, aren't we suppose to be certain on what we should do? If we are not, there's always a guidance for us isn't it? Why then I am that lack of faith? Why then I act like the Israelite in the bible? Doesn't God showed me how powerful He is throughout my life? Why then am I reluctant on Him? Nevertheless, damages had been done... What can I do next but to put it in God's hand?

There are so many people out there going through trails that are hundres times harder than what I am going through now yet I didn't have the courage to stand up for the Lord. Think before I talk, talk with an humble heart, carry out action with God's wisdom, bearing good fruit, bearing good testimonials, etc.... Why can't I just devote myself whole-heartedly to the Lord? A very hard road indeed... Why can't I be like Peter and Andrew to answered God's calling immediately? Why wait?

I was greatly challenged by pastor's words to the congregation... God asked us to follow His words, are you doing it? It's that simple? Just follow His word... Nothing else.. But why am I so afraid? People who claimed themself as a "Christian", doesn't make you a true Christian... Only the anointed people will be saved by God, are you willing to bare the cross and walk with Him? We not only share the pain He went through on the cross for us but also sharing His righteousness! Take every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. (Hebrew 12:14). Am I a peacemaker?? Don't think so... Then will I ever see the Lord? I am really trying my level best...

Without doubt, sometimes, I do feel tired on holding on.. It is that hard to be a holy person... Every single thing in your life, people expect you to be on you best. If there is a mistake, everybody will hold on to it and use that as an excuse to discourage me. I really thank God for His strength all the while, if not, I don't think I will be here writing this to all of you... Exaggerating? To unbelievers, maybe... To me? No... Because it is that difficult to keep yourself holy and bear good a testimony in life. I really wish that from this day onwards, I will really listen to God and just do what He asked me to do... Not less than that and not more than that... I really hope that I can focus on Him and on Him alone... I really need strength to persereve....

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, who he has given us. (Romans 5:3-5)

Hai............................ Tomorrow is my final and somehow...................... I am so lazy to study............. 13 chapter................ 30 minutes of exam......................... Sigh...................... May I go in peace................

Coming to an end...

It's 11:38pm now.. A dull day... I can't wait until tomorrow.. I am going to church!!!! Happy... Though I didn't manage to finish study my DB but I know one thing for sure that I needed a rest very very badly. December is the month that I hate to go through.. Why? Too many memories.... Besides that, it is the end for another year... Isn't that sad? Looking back... What have I done so far throughout the year?

Well, no doubt that I manage to see more of the world ugly side.... My heart is stabbed continuously one after another to showed me how rebellious I am... However, I thank God for all the things that happened in my life regardless of good or bad because He has drawn me closer to Him. The most satisfied moment... I learnt a lot this year... I think, I think... Should be la.. I am a bit more mature than who I used to be... =P I got to know how fragile I am. I know how weak I am and I know how much I need the Lord in my life. Thinking back.... How stupid am I to have the thinking of leaving Him...

I am stress up... I think my blood pressure also shoot up... Anger came in easily and I really need to watch out... I just faught with 2 guys today.. Isn't it great? Early morning, I already there shouting with my friend... Really am stupid. I really need to learn to be patient, understandable and be humble! Sorry... I know apologies doesn't ease the pain that I caused in your heart but I really wish that in the future we can really talk things in a proper manner... Sorry... I don't know whether do you read my blog but hopefully you are not mad with me...

Another guy? Gone case situation... I just want to explained something to him ended up fighting for don't know what reason and there goes... Different mentality caused the fight. Is it that important to know what really happened last year? You waited for 1 year but I really don't see the link between the thing that you wanted to clarify with me and the purpose of you wanted to know my reason for carrying out the action. Why don't you just ask me straight after that incident? I caused too much of damage in your life already, isn't that enough? I really don't have the courage to face you as how I used to have.. I really don't wish to fall in that category... I really don't wish to... I know I am already in that category though... Girls will always be girls isn't it? Sorry... I know it doesn't help... But the burden in me lead me to seek forgiveness from you. I will watch my action and speech next time.. Well, don't dare to guarantee that I will be perfect in this area next time but I will try my best.

AHHHH... Can there be one moment... Just one moment... For the world to stop spinning and everything around me are still except me? I really wish that there's a moment where I can stop thinking about all this things and just give my very best to Him.. May I stand firm on His words...

Everything happened for a reason..

Since young, my parents always tell me one thing.. "Shan, study hard so that next time people will employ you. Then you will have work to do and money to spent. Eventually, you will have a family of your own and just be independent."

"Well, not that I will listen to them anyway..." Kids will always be kids... How immature I am in those days... I really regret on letting go all those precious knowledge... It is like throwing gold into the sea without any reason. Stupid isn't it? As the saying goes "不听老人言， 吃亏在眼前” Who to blame but myself?

Before I meet with the Lord, I only have one thing in my head... To leave KL, to depart from my parents and don't wish to come back anymore. Yes, last time, to me, parents are that hard to get along. Parents are that irritating, parents are that unloving. I used to think that there's no such thing as "love" in this world... Even the closest person in your life, people who are related to you, people who share partial of the same genetic with you, doesn't even care about you. I used to think that even family doesn't have "love", will you expect me to expect "love" from friends?

I used to hate the song "天下的妈妈都是一样的”. Why? Simple... Because when I am young and immature, I used to think that my mom is somehow different from other mothers in the world. She never seems to pour out her love to me. Everything I got from her is scolding, scolding and more scolding. Can you imagine you mom telling you straight on the face that she regreted giving birth to you? Furthermore, she said that in public... Somehow or rather, that image seems to stuck in my head until now. Eventually leads me to the thinking of leaving them behind in KL. When I meet with the Lord, I hate myself for being immature. I never seems to realise the saying "spare the rod and spoilt the child" until I really see how my mom went through all those struggling in her life... It is never easy being a mother yet I fail to see that during my young age. I thank God for opening my eyes now!

Since young, I wish to learn up things regarding beauty and make up. My parents?? As a typical money-oriented person, say NO to me... Sigh... "Get a degree then only study all those things. If no degree don't even dream of studying all those" That's the only answer I got from them.. I got lecture from time to time to "brain wash" me.. My second choice? Hotel management... ANOTHER NO... I started to curse like mad... This can't that can't, what is this? My choice? Then might as well enroll me in any university and let me suffer there! Well, they really wanted to do that at that time! Mom kept on forcing me to take pharmacy as one of my cousin studied the subject and is now working happily in Sinagapore and well paid. I told her I have no objection on it, just enroll me and I shall fail all the subject for her. You won't want to know how bad I am in Biology. How I hated Biology.. Haha..

No where to run, I just followed my brother footstep. This is the only thing that they will not give me a "no" as an answer. I took up IT. I never like computer actually but for the sake of "making my parents happy" and I need a degree badly to study what I really wish to study. I used to hate them for treating me in such a way. Controlling every single step of mine as though I can't walk by myself. Kept on saying that I am force to study in APIIT, cursing APIIT like mad, hating my parents partially. However, when I meet with the Lord, I thank God for every single thing planned in my life. If my parents didn't send me to APIIT, I will never have the chance to meet with the Lord and got converted. If my parents didn't send me to APIIT, I will never realise that how important knowledge is. If my parents didn't send me to APIIT, I will never know how ugly the business world can be... So many things I learnt throughout my study in APIIT.

God once told me that there's no such thing as "I am force to do it". There's no one in this world that is capable of forcing you to take your step unless you can't think for yourself (eg baby). The decision is in your hand... I could have stand up and fight with my parents but I didn't. I myself, made the decision to come to APIIT. Since it is so, I shouldn't have put blame on my parents! How immature I am.... Thank God once again as He has allowed me to see all this... To know that every single things that happened in my life, happened for a reason. Regardless of whether is it a bad thing or a good news, there's always a reason behind it why God plan it that way...

I think a lot lately... Somehow, I can't concentrate well in study but my head kept on pushing me to think of my life... I have no idea why but all I know is God is leading me. Monday is my final and I still can't seems to get things into my head... My head... Really "something wrong"..... Pray for me please...

An article...

I can't remember I got this article, but the file name is "Article from Friendster". I think Mike send this to me if not mistaken. Don't ask me why only now I realise this... I am darn stress out now.. I can't concentrate in my study at all. I have no idea how am I going to take my final exam on Monday. Ok cut the crap and enjoy reading this article... It's long but it is really worth it.. Trust me..

To all you scientists out there and for all the students who have had a hard time convincing these people regarding the truth of the Bible here's something that illustrates God's awesome creation and shows He is still in control.

Did you know that NASA's space programmers are busy proving that was has been called 'myth' in the Bible is true? Mr. Harold Hill, President of the Curtis Engine Company in Baltimore, and a consultant in the space programmes, relates the following incident: One of the most amazing things that God has for us today happened recently to our astronauts and space scientists at Green Belt, Maryland. They were checking out the positions of the sun, moon and planets out in space where they would be 100, and 1000 years from now. We have to know this as we do not want a satellite to collide with any of these in its orbits. We have to lay out the orbits in terms of the life of the satellite and where the planets will be so the whole project will not bog down.

Computer measurements and data were run back and forth over the centuries when suddenly it came to a halt, displaying a red signal, which meant that either there was something wrong with the information fed into it or with the results as compared to the standards. They called in the service department to check it out, and the technicians asked what was wrong. The scientists had discovered that somewhere in space in elapsed time a day was missing. Nobody seemed able to come up with a solution to the problem. Finally one of the team, a Christian, said: "You know, when I was still in Sunday School, they spoke about the sun standing still......." While his colleagues didn't believe him, they did not have an answer either, so they said: "Show us. "

He got a Bible and opened it at the book of Joshua where they found a pretty ridiculous statement for any one with 'common sense'. There they read about the Lord saying to Joshua: "Fear them not, I have delivered them into thy hand; there shall not be a man of them stands before thee." (Joshua 10:8). Joshua was concerned because the enemy had surrounded him, and if darkness fell, they would overpower him. So Joshua asked the Lord to make the sun stand still! That's right - "And the sun stood still and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is this not written in the book of Ja'-sher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven and hastened not to go down about a whole day." (Joshua 10:13). The astronauts and scientists said: "There is the missing day!"

They checked the computers going back into the time it was written and found it, but it was not close enough. The elapsed time that was missing back in Joshua's day was 23 hours and 20 minutes - not a whole day. They read the Bible again and there it was: "about (approximately) a day. "These little words in the Bible were important, but they were still in trouble, because another 40 minutes were still unaccounted for, and this could mean trouble 1000 years from now. Forty minutes had to be found because it can be multiplied many times over in orbits. As the Christian employee thought about it, he remembered somewhere in the Bible which said the sun went backwards.

The scientists told him he was out of his mind, but once again they opened the Book and read these words in 2 Kings. Hezekiah, on his deathbed, was visited by the prophet, Isaiah, who told him he was not going to die. Hezekiah asked for some sign as proof. Isaiah said: "Shall the sun go forward ten degrees, or go back ten degrees?" And Hezekiah answered: "It is a light thing for the shadow to go down ten degrees; nay, but let the shadow return backwards ten degrees." And Isaiah the prophet cried unto the Lord, and He brought the shadow ten degrees backward, by which it had gone down in the dial of Ahaz." (2Kings 20:9 * 11). Ten degrees is exactly 40 minutes! Twenty-three hours and twenty minutes in Joshua, plus 40 minutes in 2 Kings accounted for the missing day in the universe!

Weary and tired body of mine

REALLY TIRED!
...Father, give me strength...

I am a worn out... The stupid medicine didn't seems to help but made me sleepy all the way.. I came back from Kuantan suffering from a terrible flu and throat affliction. It is not that bad until I started to faced difficulties in breathing... Suffocating... I wanted to sneeze that badly but somehow it won't come out... Suffering! I HATE FLU!!!!! I am force to take the medicine as my final exam is on Monday... DATABASE AGAIN! DARN!

My head doesn't seems to function at all... What is SQL? What is DB? What is DBMS? What is normalization? How to draw ER diagram? How to do this? How to do that? T.T So many to study yet my brain and health are not halping me at all! Please keep me in intense prayer... I am really tired... Weary....

The best part is yet to come.. I am working on Saturday! T.T Whole day I presume... DIE!!!! Really am tired... I need a rest! A complete peaceful rest... Sigh... God, give me strength to hold on...

Long long day... =)

Another wonderful week... Yes, another boring entry of mine =)

Praise the Lord, halellujah, that I have handed in my assignment on Friday... Yes, a total rush work but I thank God that I manage to hand it in on time and get ready for my Kuantan trip =) Super tired Friday... Working in the morning from 830am till 1230pm. After the long hours work, I straight away faced the computer and started off with my conclusion and touch up the whole assignment. From time to time, I am looking at my watch... DARN! LATE! AT LAST.... FINISH!!! I quickly print out my assignment and rush to CF.... T.T Half of the session gone... Snift...

After CF, I tried to locate my group members as I need their signature for the assignment peer to peer assessment but I failed... What else can go wrong? I went down to cafe to have my lunch... SUPER HUNGRY! I can't think straight... I just hand in the assignment without thinking twice... I need to rush back home! I straight away "fly" back home after my lunch and get ready for the long waited Kuantan trip... I was late as the traffic jam in my vicinity is really terrible... Ahh... At last.... I manage to arrived in SP LRT station... Jump on my friend's car and "KUANTAN, HERE I COME!"... Rest? Nah... Somehow, I don't feel tired... Maybe it is because I have been working for so long and suddenly there's nothing on hand, I felt weird... Haha.. I was talking all the way until the extend my friend said that he felt stress whenever I am talking ahaha...

I think I manage to scare Debbie a little.. Haha... *Shake shake* =P We arrived in Kuantan around 9 something at night... Long day... But it doesn't end there... I went for a movie with Ewilly and family! TIRED.... But worth the price... At last, I manage to meet up with her! Super happy =) Ah......... ZZZzzZzZzZzzzzZZzz...

Weary body...

STRESS!!!!! DARN STRESS!!!!!

I really am tense up... I really don't know what to do now... There's 40% more to go for my assignment... Great news? Tonnes of editing is required... Wish to listen to another great news? I am falling sick... I felt like I will be having a fever very very soon... I am currently wearing a wool type of jacket yet I am freezing... Without the fan on nor air-conditional but I am feeling super cold... My feet? I can barely feel their existance as it is too cold... Wearing indoor slipper just to warm up my feet... SICK!!!

I am really worried... Why? ASSIGNMENT DUE ON FRIDAY! Yes, yes think what you want to think, say what you want to say.. I am a lazy bum who doesn't start my work early therefore ending up in situation like this... Who to blame but myself? Is that it? Is that what is in your mind? Yes? No? Nah... It doesn't really bother me... Why? Simple.. Because using my head to think of all those comments I got, is actually a waste of my brain juice.. In addition, it doesn't help me in solving my problems so why bother thinking about it and make myself sad? Regardless of what is happening in my life, I just want to give thanks to the Lord for His strength... For sustaining me until now... I am really really really really... Tired and weary...

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God

Haha.. Those who are attending my church will be sick of this song? Well, not to me... I fell in love with this song instantly... Amy should be familiar with this =P Oppsss... I mean few sentence of the lyrics as I kept on forgeting the lyrics =P

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God
And His righteousness
And all these things shall be added unto you
Hallelu, Hallelujah!

Man shall not live by bread alone
But by every word
That proceeds from the mouth of God
Hallelu, Hallelujah!

Ask and it shall be given unto you
Seek and ye shall find
Knock and the door shall be opened unto you
Hallelu, Hallelujah!

If the Son shall set you free
Ye shall be free indeed
Ye shall know the truth, and it shall set you free
Hallelu, Hallelujah!

Let your light so shine before men
That they may see Your good works
and glorify Your Father in heaven
Hallelu, Hallelujah!

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart
He shall direct thy paths
In all thy ways acknowledge Him
Hallelu, Hallelujah!

Problemas con los bolardos

This is really amazing... I was shock with how advance technology can be! Have a look at this... Some states in Europe has started to implemented this retractable road pole to restrict roads for authorized vehicles only. I still don't understand why people still want to go through that place when it is prohibited... CARS!!!! SMASH!! PAIN!!! Hahaa...

Taman Desa and me...

I went to my secondary friends gathering today... I went back Old Klang Road today... So miss the place... Without realising it... I have been staying here for 1 year! Tomorrow is my house "birthday"... It is the day when we first moved in... Happy birthday =)

I never like this place... Never... People claimed that this place is a chinese area and have tonnes of nice foods... Ya right! As if Taman Desa doesn't have all those? As though Taman Desa can't beat this place... INSULT! Ya people who know me well know how I feel.. I want it to be in Taman Desa... Many many memory there... I grew up there... No jam, nearby MV, many public transport etc... Everything is so convenient back then...

My first time riding on a motorcycle, my first time falling off from a bike, my first time swimming, my first time driving, even my first love stayed there! Nah.. We didn't manage to get together though... He is now happily living his life with his gf... They have been together for more than 3 years I think... Haha.. Well, nevertheless, I thank him for giving me a memorable moment during my secondary school... I will never forget all those moment with him =) No, I am not going to tell you what happened back then.. Just one word to describe it "sweet". So many first experience given to Taman Desa....

May God bring me back to that place once again..... I really wish to spend the rest of my life there... How I wish to obtain a house there when I get married.... IF I can find someone to be the groom la.. Hahaa...

The one that makes your heart smile

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she's blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He's always there for her.
She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she can see everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying. "Just take care of my eyes dear."

I got this from a friend. How I wish to have a person that is willing to do that for me... =) Sweet.... And I will never never ever wish to be like the girl.... How about you? Are you willing to marry the guy? Well, without much doubt, I will... Why? As the saying goes "Don't go for looks as they deceived. Don't go for wealth; even that fade. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.."

A sincere apologies to you...

I know how you feel... Maybe what you are feeling right now is worse than what I have been through. However, the pressure, the feeling and the pain that we experienced, I think it should be almost the same... That is why... I choose to leave... To leave the place once and for all... Never wish to know anything about that horrible place anymore... Yes, you might said I am a coward, you might think that I am irresponsible, you can say and think whatever you like... I seriously don't mind... Yes, to a certain extend I do take note of all those comment of your's as it reflected me as who I really am... Is my actions glorifying God? I struggled a lot in this issue.... Really fed up in thinking... Because somehow, the result turn out to be vain...

Well, I won't deny that the experience there really help me to gain more knowledge and I thank God that I have the opportunity to be there... To be with all of you...

I learnt something today... Regardless of what you are handling, you should give your best because it is a task that God put in your hand. There shouldn't be something called "I don't like it" in the context because it is us who made the decision in our life. Nobody can actually think and made the decision for you in your life. They can guide you but not made your decision for you. We aren't here to complain but to fulfill what the Lord has planted in our life. Even small little things in your life... Are you giving your best in handling it? To be honest, I didn't.... I am learning now... Though it is late but I will try my best...

Would like to apologies for all those horrid moment that I created in your life... I know it well that no matter what I do now, it can never heal the wound but I still want to apologies for it... Since the day I meet you uptil now, I can never think of a moment of me not giving you sorrow and bitterness. I know I hurt your heart a lot, a lot... I know the feeling of pain... I went through it as well... I know indirectly I have made you changed to be another person... A person that I no longer know well... As I always said, it is your life, you have 100% rights to choose what type of life you want to live in... I already told you what is in my mind previously and I don't need to repeat that again as I am nobody in your life. Who cares anyway? I am not God... Let Him lead you...

To be frank, many times, I miss the person who I met previously... Before the incident took place on the 31/12/2005. A date that I will never in my life forget... The decision I made and the actions I took is sudden for you, I know... As I always said, I did that for a reason. I have review a little regarding my reason of making that decision but that is only 30% of what I am thinking... I didn't want to disclose the reason to you because I know it well that you can never understand it... Spiritual issue... Selfish? If you wish to categorise me in such category then I have nothing to say... Let God judge my actions then..

I know it well that time can never go backwards... I know that I can never have the exact same person back into my life anymore... I know everything happened for a reason... Let the reason be my lesson then...

Sorry for not being an understanding person... I am learning.... It is really a hard task but I know God is there to guide me and you... May the Lord God bless us... Amen..

Drift, drift and drift....

I like speed.... I like car... For your information, I don't know nuts about all those engine and stuff.. I just like the feeling of sitting in a car that fly... However, it is not easy to gain my trust unless you are really good in driving =P I got kind of irritated when people "act" as though they are really good in driving just to impress a girl but the truth is they are unskilled... Please... Trust me... You are not at all impressing the girl but you are scaring her off! Haha... Well, unless most of the girls are like me... Immune with reckless driving... Haha... Don't ask me why, don't say I am weird, don't say anything... Just watch this video clip that I got it from my friend's web site... =P Though it is just a game but it somehow remind me of "Takumi" =) SO MISS HIM!!!!

Wishing to be no one in this world...

I.... Lost my way.... I know it well that the Lord is right beside me... I am scare.... Having tiny little faith... I know what is wrong... I know the problems.... 1 Tim... Always keep that in mind... Timothy, Timothy and more Timothy... I have been studying this book for quite some time now... Almost everything in the book I am familiar... Yet always remember that it is not the knowledge that save me but implementing the words in my life.... WATCH YOUR TONGUE, THOUGHTS AND WAY OF SPEAKING! You are not a saviour. God is...

I never wish to see those things anymore... It is really very painful in my heart... I really wish that the Lord will have mercy on me... I am not that strong... I am really a weak person... Specially my heart... How many cuts are there?? Countless... I really got nothing to give.... All I have is just a broken heart... How can I??? How can I??? I really am speechless... Do excuse me... I just faught with a person.... I really really am sad seeing him living his life like that... Why force yourself? I raelly don't understand... I only know that emptiness can never be fill by human....

I am no one... I wish to be no one... Can I really do that? I doubt.... How I wish that now... My shadow will never be found in this world anymore....

Ah Jia Ah Jia fighting!

Dizzy..... Friday is the day... I didn't know how to describe my feeling... Is it happy? Is it sad? Is it this? Is it that? Who knows? Feeling beyond words... Haha... Talking nonsense... I got back my DDD result and I am happy with it.. Though I didn't expect it but praise the Lord for the blessing upon me.. =)

SaD?? PD test.... Straight after my DDD class I have my PD test... The moment I step in the classroom the paper is being distributed... =.=" "You can start once you get the question paper.." GANAS! I didn't know how to answer the question... I hantam, hantam and hantam only... I really rest my case on it.. Really difficult! I wrote down what I think it is relevant though it doesn't seems to be the answer for the question.. I don't even have the time to think twice but just pour out every single thing into that piece of paper... I think the lecturer will have a shock when he look at my writing.. I doubt he can read... I was so nervous until I can write properly =.=" Can you imagine the pressure upon me? This is a fully incourse subject... This test is part of my "life". If I flung... There goes my higher diploma result...

I really am tired now.. Going to date with my bed now.. Just to release myself here =P Hehe... Good luck to those who are facing exam now! GAMBATEH!!!

Sundial Dream by Kevin Kern

Really sweat.... Blogspot kept on giving me error when I want to upload Youtube video clip inside... Grrr.... Anyway.. Thank God that I manage to do so.. Here's another Kevin Kern's song but it is not play by him... Just enjoy his masterpiece =) The name of the song is "Sundial Dreams" Ahhh... Fell in love with him =) I have no idea why but I can't display the video here as it is enabled by request... So just click on the link and you can view the clip through YouTube... =) Enjoy..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akSfEoRX3pE

Kevin Kern

Wao... Really am amaze by this guy's talent... Kevin Kern... Though he is blind but his determination and faith is so strong... I really admire people like this.. I fell in love with the song "Though the abhor". This is his own creation! Can you imagine that? He reminded me of the late Beethoven....

Do enjoy his performance... Haha... This is seriously hilarious.... "You talk too much, my God!" Haha... It should be "You talk to fast!" Instead of fast he said too much Haha... Funny! Sorry to those who can't understand chinese.. =)

Part 1


Part 2

Troubled heart...

The pain is unbearable... I pray that the feeling will leave me soon... I really don't understand why this type of situation keep on knocking on my door.. However, I always believe that everything happened for a reason... Everything is under God's hand... Nobody can run away from it... The pain.. Is just a short term pain... Wound cure but scar remains... Can you imagine? If I am so so upset with it, how about God? Don't you think it is 10 times or 20 times or even more painful than what I have felt??

I started to realise something... The more I want to know, the more bad news I got... So... I am now starting to let go of every single things in my life that I am so concern and worried about.... I didn't want to know anything, anymore... I shall not interfere in your life anymore.. Let God lead you.. I really don't know what to say nor do except to pray for you. I really have enough of it.. I just want to focus on my life and trials now... I didn't want to know anything anymore unless you volunter to tell me... I am really tired...

I am having my test in few hours time and I am not prepared for it.. GREAT.... May I go in peace...

Exploding... Part 2

No doubt that following Christ is a hard path but Christ do promises us great reward. However, do note that the bible didn't teach universalism (that all will be saved). The bible told us that gospel is for all people regardless of their race or standing but only those who believ (trust) in Chritst enjoy the benefits of salvation. Are you putting your trust in Him and exercising godliness?

"SO HARD! So many temptation around me! How to hold on?", "Wah, so mah fan, so many rules and regulation, lazy la... No need to follow la.. If I think I can do it then I will do, if not, then it is not part of the requirement of God.", "Oh? Need to follow? Don't know oh, Mummy said Sunday need to go church then go only lo.. Honor your parents mah.. No meh?", "I tried but I kept falling, so what is the point following? Leave it as it is... If I were to be saved, I will be.. By grace mah...."

Are all those part of what you are thinking? Yes? *shake my head* I shall pray hard for you! Who is God in your life? Christianity is never a "religion" only but a relationship! A relationship with Your Daddy! Chrisitianity is never "Because my friends said I can have eternal life if I join, so I go church and started calling myself a 'Christian'". Sorry to break your heart, you are not considered as one if you didn't put trust in Him and follow His will... To be a Christian is not as easy as you have in mind. To live a holy life is never easy. Devil will be there 24/7 targeting you! The nearer you are to God, the more trials and struggling you need to go through! Being a Christian is never because of convenient but conviction! Are you willing to do that for your Daddy?

I am well aware that each and everyone of us are easily tempted but did you put trust in the Lord for once to overcome it? It is a very hard process, I know, but did you try? Didn't God said "Humanity speaking it is impossible but with God, all things are possible" (Mark 10:27)? I was prompted with questions when I said "temptation is too strong so I give way for sin to enter" to a Christian brother. I didn't manage to answer the question... I know I got nothing to answer but to said "I am wrong for looking down at my God's power"

Question 1
Is there anything more desirable than God?
If yes, who is God in your life? Where you place Him in your life? First priority? Last in the list? What is the main factor that made you fall?
If no, why then you fall?

God said no temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Are you willing to take the way that He has provided you? There's always a price to pay, are you willing to do that? Or is it because it is not convenient for you hence you choose to live in your sins? Is it because God is nobody in your life so His words is nothing to you but the worldly things meant a lot to you? What is right and what is wrong? I think each and everyone knows about it.. It is just the matter whether we carry out the right things or not... Are you doing it?

Bible actually warned us to be careful... We shouldn't be putting our trust in uncertain things. "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matt 6:19-21)"
In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life. (1 Tim 6:19)

I was once yearning for money (uncertain things). I work, work and work. Workaholic is my name... Can you imagine? My assistant manager actually asked me not to work anymore and go for a holiday! That is how hard I work... You will see me there almost everyday! Even my lecturer felt sick seeing me there =P I still work now but at least I am not addicted to it as how I was =P I was actually satisfied when I got the salary but sad to say.. I don't have the health to enjoy it. I don't even have the time to enjoy it! I started to think... What have I "gain" throughout the whole process of working? Tiredness is for sure, my temper coming back to visit me, got tonnes of scolding from the manager, got feedback for my work, got health problems, got more problems with collegues as we meet up more often, and the list goes on. Most important thing is.... I... "Disconnect" with God. Besides than having some "extra" money, I didn't see the benefit of working... I rather sit in a boring lecture. At least I gain some new knowledge, no health problems and I have no fights with my friends!

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. (1 Tim 6:6-10)
Didn't the bible tell us that? A stubborn little me doesn't seems to take His word seriously. Therefore, ending up in such pityful, pathetic and sad situation.

Why look at uncetain things when God is there to provide you? If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matt 6:30-34). Yes, how little faith I have towards God... Are you the same?

Regardless of what trials you are in, the objective of God to put you in the situation is the same... To test you, to mould you and to make you stronger. I am facing trials myself... Writing this long long post is not for fun sake but to encourage all my brothers and sisters who are struggling with their sins and trials. Let us continue to put out faith in Him! GAMBATEH!!!

Exploding... Part 1

Many many things happened within this week. I almost went out of breathe and end up in a "box", where the measurement is 5 feet x 3 feet.

I just went through my DATABASE test on Friday. YES, DATABASE! My "FAVOURITE" subject of the year... 6 chapter in 1 test and the most abhor part is.... She kept on emphasing on "normalization" this chapter yet in the test, nothing came out but an easy onjective question on Normalization. =.=" Thank God I didn't put much effort in studying that! Haha... Just for the readers' information, my test was ok but the sad part is... I actually forgot the term "ALTERNATIVE KEY" and "RECURSIVE RELATIONSHIP". I hate myself very much for that! I can't imagine myself sitting in the test for more than half and hour thinking of this 2 term but I ended up leaving it blank. ISSHHHH!!!! STUDY HARD AND REMEMBER THE TERM NEXT TIME 633!!! Can't blame me too much though.. It is a last minutes study... What you expect =P

Ok enough of my frustration on DB... Now.... I am going to write something serious... As I mention earlier, I got tonnes of bad news this week. Allowed me to just drop down my feelings and thinking in this small little "box" of mine.. I am going to explode very soon if I continue thinking about this...

Things changed as time passes by... Who will remain the same? I realise how each and everyone of my friends changed (Including myself)... Some change for the better and some took the other road... Is there anything that remain constant? Well, I never came about such thing.... Except for God...

The wonderful love in our life comes from a pure heart, from a good conscience and from a sincere faith (1 tim 1:5). Are you experiecing love in your life? Yes? No? How do you define love anyway? "Beautiful look lo, so I love her", "Cool personality, can yo yo with me lo!", "CHUN bodyshape! That's why I love her!", "A person that I think ok then willing to be my gf then beautiful lo... If no, she is not loving at all, not worth my love.", "As long as the person is rich, then then love is in the air.". How about you? What is your say about "love"?

According to bible, love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) I always like this saying in the bible because it define love as pure and a loving thing in this world. Have you ever ask yourself how come you can love someone? Yes? No? Well, I did... And God showed me...

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. ( 1 John 4:7-12)

To me, loving someone is really a hard task. It really required you to love that person as a whole. To love him as who he is, to accept him as who he is, to give him my sincere love etc... I am a human, with an imperfect body and unholy thinking, it is far than impossible for me to love a person with my sincere love every single time. Somehow or rather, sometimes, I do feel some hatred towards people that I loved. For instant, hmm... My mom, she is as stubborn as a cow (Hehe.. I am stubborn also! LOL) when I tell her that the way she is carrying out a task is wrong, she will normally scold me back in return for being rude. =.=" Sometimes, in my head, I am thinking... How on earth am I going to love my parents when they are so so so stubborn? However, God said honor you parents. Regardless of what happened, they are still your parents, without them, who are you to speak? Well, from this incident, I think many of you will understand why I said loving a person is so hard... Hmm.. Don't know about your thinking, but it is a learning process for me currently...

If loving a person is hard, what more loving God? How can we be a strong and healthy Christian? Answer? You must nourish yourself on the word of God and on good doctrine (1 Tim 4:6). It is clearly stated in the bible that in later time some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons (1 Tim 4:1). Look at yourself, are you one of them? You should know the answer better.

Beware... Beware of FALSE TEACHERS! You must REJECT ERRORS (godless mythsand old wives' tales) and train yourself to be godly (1 Tim 4:7) You must make sure that you discipline yourself if you wish to exercise yourself to godliness! Time should be properly manage so that you set apart time for God and His words yet at the same time didn't neglect your duty that God assigned to you. Things that will harm your soul should be avoided.

*To be continue...*

失去一个人的感觉，你能体谅吗？

昨天他好端端的站在我身旁，
昨天他是如此的好动，
昨天我还感受得到他那温暖的体温，
昨天他的笑容如此的甜蜜，
昨天他还对我说“你很漂亮”，
一切一切都在我的回忆里头。

今天，突然间，世界变得很冷漠，
今天，突然间，我在也感觉不到温暖，
今天，突然间，我的心很痛，很痛，
今天，突然间，我发现，世界没有任何的改变，
不一样的就是，他已在这世界上消失了，
整个世界都没有任何人发觉到他的消失，
只有我知道。。。

他的味道已不再人间中出现，
他的背影也从此在这世上永远的消失，
冷冰冰的他，再也不散发温暖的体温，
冷冰冰的他，以忘了如何微笑，
冷冰冰的他，以把我们的回忆都忘了，
我们的甜， 我们的苦，我们的 酸与一切的回忆
就剩下我与上帝记得。。。

残忍的他。。。 不说一句“再见”就走，
残忍的他。。。 独自地去见上帝，
残忍的他。。。 让我一个人独自的留在这里，
我会好好的过下去，我会坚持的过我的日子，
凭着上帝的恩典，凭着上帝的力量，
我知道我可以度过这一关，
我会好好地把我们的回忆，
小心翼翼的放入你睡的“床上”，
好让你也把它都带走，
让我也在此刻把一切的回忆都删掉，
因为给死人最好的礼物就是把他忘了。。

我从不后悔向你付出我的时间，
我从不后悔向你付出我的爱，
和你度过的时光， 是最快乐的时光。。
一切一切都只剩下过去了。。。
安息吧。。。

Happy birthday Amy!

May the Lord God bless you,
May the Lord God bless you,
May the Lord God bless Amy,
Happy Birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to Amy,
Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you,
You are born in the zoo,
where monkey and lion,
Happy birthday to you,

Amy!!! At last you are 20 years old! Aren't you feeling happy? =P Another year of torturing year with me Wakaka.. Hope you like the bracelet that 1024 and I bought for you =)

No worries, next year, if God allow us to celebrate your birthday together we all go 7-11 and do "something" there ya =P

O.o Optical Mouse also NOT SAFE???

Just in case, please be careful.

The convenience of using optical mouse eventually caused dangerous side effect. After Three years from the first launch by microsoft, have been found thousand of cases - hands tissue caused by mouse radiation.

Optical Mouse works by release Electromagnetic high frequency to the lower surface under it. This frequency much higher than the frequency use for handphone. As it has been known that human hand and wrist contains lot of important nerve connected to brain. According to WHO, the radiation from Optical Mouse is 5 times stonger than using handphone. These radiation is even worse for those product with lower quality ( non branded mouse ), since they use weaker shield to protect customer wrist.

WHO, GreenPeace, and CNN have stopped the usage of Optical mouse in their whole office. Meanwhile Microsoft and IBM have allocate 2 billion of US Dollar, in joint venture to make a safer pointing device. Big Hardware Industries in China and Taiwan are trying to hide all fact related to this things. While in the market, most of optical mouse sold old were coming from their product. To avoid this, try to reduce using mouse. learn how to use hot key (i.e Ctrl-V, CTRL-C for paste and copy ) Use back your old model of mouse ( with the tracking ball).

A broken heart and a broken spirit

I really wish that I am blind,
but never in my heart,
As all I want is to see You with my eyes,
and non others than You.
I really wish that I am deaf,
but never in my heart,
As all I want is to listen to Your voice,
and non others than You alone.
I really wish that I am mute,
but never in my heart,
As my feeling now is way beyond words for man,
Only You, only You alone are able to know my heart well.
Previously, I was puzzled and didn't know why,
but You allowed me to see the ugliest part of a human being,
Now I came to realise that
You are actually teaching me something valuable.
You taught me to be watchful of myself,
Never be like those who sinned against You,
Yet choose to turn away from You.
Thinking that they are great and mighty,
but the truth is they are nothing but dust in Your eyes.
Thinking that they are sinless and perfect,
but the truth is a wrong will always be a wrong,
They didn't realise that without law,
a wrong will no more be wrong,
However, when there is law,
You can never mark a wrong, "right".
Through this incident in my life,
I learn to give thanks more often to the Lord.
I treasured even more the salvation that is given to me through grace.
I am really thankful that I have the opportunity to know You.
I am really thankful that I have the chance to read Your words.
I give thanks for the overwhelming joy and blessing is which upon me.
I have nothing in my hand, my life....
The only thing I can offer to You are just broken heart and a broken spirit.
May You, Lord accept it with an open arms.

Who am I?

DB test is on Friday and I have no idea how am I to put the 6 chapter into the tiny little head of mine. Besides that, there's another test on the following Friday! Gosh... Got a little stress up as there's many things on hand that is left undone. I really give thanks to the Lord for He told me that He will be there for me... Never will He forsake me, never will He leave me... I have no idea how many times this verses came to me... I lost count on that... But it doesn't fail to encouraged me to continue to press on and look forward....

I am really worn out. The trails that the Lord gives me is really challenging. I am really afraid that I will fail this "test"... Reading as much as I can and spending time with the Lord as much as I can does help me to persevere. I am besically fighting the battle with myself. The inner desires of mine is so strong that I almost got control by it. Bit by bit, I am feeling the pain... Day by day, I am feeling the stress.... However, this is the time, whereby I see clearer that God's grace and mercy is upon me. Looking back my life, I always remind myself that without Him in my life, I am nobody here.

You've Touched My Heart

You've Touched My Heart
by Kyle Butler

You've given me a reason
For smiling once again,
You've filled my life with peaceful dreams
and you've become my closest friend.

You've shared your heartfelt secrets
And your trust you've given me,
You showed me how to feel again
To laugh, and love, and see.

If life should end tomorrow
And from this world I should part,
I shall be forever young
For you have touched my heart

Psalm 13

Psalm 13

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

The untrue bible?

Story time...

If I had cherished sin in my heart,

the Lord would not have listened (to my prayers);

(Psalm 66:18)

__________________________________________________

R. A. Torrey tells the story of a woman who came to him and said she did not believe in the Bible any more. When he asked her why, she replied, "Because I have tried its promises and found them untrue. The Bible says, 'If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.' (Matt 21:22) Well, I fully expected to get things from God in prayer, but I did not receive them, so the promise failed."

Dr. Torrey then turned her to 1 John 3:22 -- "And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight." Then he said, "Were you keeping His commandments and doing those things pleasing in His sight?"

She confessed she was not. Her trouble was not the Bible's Promises.

It was her own DISOBEDIENCE.

Source: Obedience=Joy by Bill Bright

Confuse whether should I continue on being like this...

I am posting a lot of songs lately.... Hmm.. Don't know what got into me.. Stress I think? I have lost myself in all those assignments, test, personal problems and work... I am getting a bit lazy to write blog regarding my own personal feeling... Not really lazy but my feeling now of days is more towards "feeling beyond words"... Reluctant on my next step, having a blur vision towards my future. Will I be able to pursue my dreams? *Do I even have one? =P JAPAN!!!*

Things are changing like nobody business. All those events that seem so impossible to happen in the past but lately it happened in front of my eyes. I myself was shock with my observations and the way you handle situations... You claimed that it is good for all but do you really think it is the best? I made mistakes as well, I don't blame you... I always think that my decision should be the best for all but God proved me wrong. I should never think with my own thoughts and ability but I should be guided by Him! It is really true that I shouldn't get involved in your life.. As one of my friend told me, it is better for me to just let go of you, don't care about your things and just be concern about my own character. That might be his reason of leaving but I don't wish to use that as a reason for me to just "don't care about anything". Sorry, I doubt I can even "don't care about anything", I can't help it but to at least know my friends are alright.

I learnt something through this incident... A hard lesson to learn though... To expect less from others... The lesser the expectation, the lesser the disappointment. I should always think about others, I shouldn't be so self-centered. It is somehow in my blood, I really need to be more concern rather than self-centered. I am such an imperfect human being! I leave it all in God's hand....

Last but not least..... Hehehe.. Another song to all the readers out there... It is from Karen, I found this through Friendster. She has a sweet voice... feel in love with this song... BM song... Wah... *air liur dah mengalir keluar =P* Enjoy...

How to recruit the right person for the job

I got this from an E-mail.. Quite funny.. But to a certain extend it is true also! Haha...

How to Recruit the Right Person for the Job

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation:

If they are counting the bricks,
Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them,
Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks,
Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order,
Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other,
Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping,
Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces,
Put them in information technology.

If they are sitting idle,
Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved,
Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day,
Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the window,
Put them on strategic planning.

And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved,
Congratulate them and put them in board of directors and top management.

Me and big fat pig..

I think it is clearly printed on my forehead that I like pig and I look like a pig? Haha... For many times I received this flash from my friends. However, thanks for sharing it with me... It brings back a lot of memories to me... Enjoy the flash =)

http://img94.exs.cx/img94/405/songofpig7gr.swf

First time..

TV is showing the Korean drama "Winter Sonata" again.. Instantly I felt in love with this song.. It is called "First time". Very nice music...

3 bears dance...

Not sure how many of you have the opportunity to watch the Korean series called "Full house". It is a very nice series to me... I know it is ages back but due to some incident, it reminds me of the show again... What is the most funniest part in the show is the actor and actress singing the "3 bear song"... Hmmm... Somehow remind me of the game called "True or Dare"... Hahaha... To those who understand this post... Keep it a secret... Haha.. I still got the picture of that person dancing this! Hahaha...

Enjoy...

This is the NG section... Quite funny... Have a look at it..


This is the movie... Enjoy...

Can You Read the truth lies behind this misplaced words

Hehe, I got this from my friendster mail.. Interesting... Try reading it =)

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

Marriage?

Dilemma... Should I take the risk? Should I stay in the room? Which step to take? Only God knows what is good for me... I really need strength, knowledge and wisdom to overcome all this trials.. I read a message from a friend which encouraged me to press on and hold on to Him. He said to me that when I am in a situation like this, just pray.. Pray as though you don't know anything and humble yourself down before the Lord. Every prayer will be heard by the Lord but whether He answer my prayer or not, that I can't decide but to wait patiently for the answer.

I just came back from my grandma's house on Tuesday. It was a fun trip... I was once again united with my relatives =) My niece and nephew are so cute! I was so shock that they are growing so fast! Getting taller and taller each day... How envy am I towards them... No worries, just happy moments... Despite of them getting bitting from their parents, they are really care free! How I wish I can turn back time... How I wish I can be like a child and just eat, sleep and play whole day... Never will I need to know regarding the world, courtship, study, family problems, financial problems and many more... All I need to do is just eat, sleep and play...

I was suprise that I can survive that long without a computer... Well, I didn't do much there though. All I do throughout the 3 days trip there is just eat, sleep and play! Almost every 2-3 hours I am eating.... =.=" My cousin kept on bringing me to foodstall to try out every single thing in Muar, they said I need to gain a little when I go back KL... Besides that, I have been playing with my nieces and nephew. They are really active! I almost go out of breathe playing with them! I do enjoy myself there though =)

The most irritating part of the trip.... Relatives asking me about 2 things... Courtship and Christianity... I really wave white flag to them... I kept quiet most of the time when they are talking about courtship. I got nothing to say about it... I can't believe that my cousin brother, studying only in Form 2 trying to court a girl! GOSH! Everybody there is talking about GF and BF... I really don't know how to react... I don't wish to flash back on my past. The only thing I can think of is... To flee... Run away when you can't take it... Joseph did that right?

What is right and what is wrong? Is it wrong for me to be single at this age? At this very moment, is it wrong to be someone that don't wish to get hurt? Why then people are pushing me to find someone and get married so fast? Due to your own desires, where you hope to have a grandchildren at such a young age doesn't give you the right to say things like that to me, right? I am not even their daughter but I was being questioned on my love story... Hmmm... It doesn't sound right... Who doesn't yearn for a relationship? However, I don't think my "angel" is ready to meet me yet hahaha. Let God lead... All His plan is to prosper me.... =)

一切都變了? 其實只有自己變了

Got this from a friend's blog... Enjoy reading.. Hope you learn something =)

Ａ和Ｂ是同學，念書時感情好得不得了，畢業後兩人分別創業結婚，Ａ的生意愈做愈大，最飛黃騰達的時候，公司裡有上百名員工，Ａ每天忙得不得了，漸漸和老朋友就不連絡了，偶爾Ｂ想打電話問候他，總是秘書接的，Ｂ也就不打了，關於他的近況都是從朋友那裡輾轉聽說的．

景 氣不好，Ｂ的公司規模不大，但是穩扎穩打的作風，生意並未受到太多影響，Ａ的情況就不同了，飛黃騰達之後，Ａ養成了好大喜功的習慣，公司表面看起風光，其 實有不少資金是向銀行貸款來的，幾次周轉不靈，廠商不願繼續通融，員工的薪水也好幾個月無法準時發放，終於撐不下去，公司倒了不說，還背千萬的債務．

有 一天，Ｂ去拜訪客戶，在街上遇到Ａ，Ａ看起來神情疲憊，Ｂ已經聽說老朋友的事，他熱情拉Ａ一起吃午飯．開著車來到學校附近，在巷子裡一家不起眼的小店，Ｂ 點了兩碗蚵仔麵線，還有滷豆腐和燙青菜，Ａ沒有想到Ｂ說請他吃飯，竟然如此寒酸，難道是見他落魄了，懶得應酬他，還是怕他會開口借錢，乾脆先裝窮，Ａ的心 裡十分不舒服．麵線送上來了，Ｂ說，你記得嗎？十年前我們在這裡念書時，你喜歡吃這家的蚵仔麵線，說他們的大腸處理得好，蚵仔也新鮮，那時候我們沒錢，只 能吃麵線，連點個小菜都覺得奢侈，我想你大概很久沒吃蚵仔麵線了，我倒是常來這裡吃，也回味一下年輕時....

Ａ不懂Ｂ究竟是什麼意思， 不過，Ａ也想起來以前確實很喜歡吃這家的蚵仔麵線，為什麼畢業後再也沒來吃過，沒想到這家小店還開著，而且麵線還是很好吃，滋味完全不輸魚翅呢．Ｂ看Ａ吃 出了滋味，便對Ａ說，我的公司小，不能和你闖下的局面比，但時機不好，如果你不嫌棄，就先來和我一起做吧，將來有適當的機會，你想要另起爐灶也行，或是我 們哥兒倆就合作下去，都行．Ａ沒想到Ｂ會如此爽快伸出援手，Ａ的眼淚在眼眶裡打轉，將近十年沒連絡，Ｂ的情誼一點沒變，就像蚵仔麵線的滋味．Ａ為了掩飾自 己的情感，故意捧起碗大口喝湯，放下碗時，他說：「謝謝你，帶我來吃蚵仔麵線，我以為很多事都變了，原來還有長久不變的滋味．」

有時候我們覺得別人變了 其實是自己變了 有時候我們覺得一切都變了 其實只有自己變了

藍天

I was reading my friend's blog and I read something very interesting...

如果老天爺為你關一扇門，一定會為你開一扇窗。雖然，大部分的時候，從門到窗的距離，可能超乎想像的長，我們還是要找到那條路，從門，走到窗口那邊，才會看到一大片藍天。 藍天，原本就在，只是我們一直把自己關在房子裡。

I agreed on what the statement said.. *To those who can't read chinese, this is what the statement meant* If God close a door, He for sure will open another door for you. Though most of the time, the distant from the door to the window might be far away from what you are expecting, but we still need to find the way from the door to the window. Then only we can see the sky. The blue sky, is always there, is just that we always lock ourselve in the room.

Have you been locking yourself in the "room"? Well, I am not that sure about all of you, but I have been hiding in the room for quite some time... Why? Only God knows me well... I will be going off for a holiday for few days so I won't be blogging for maybe 5 days? Who knows... Hahaha... I want to rest... I miss my niece so much.. Will be meeting her tomorrow. Wee~ Can bully her again *Evil laugh*

Kenangan Terindah

I felt in love with this song.. It's an Indonesia song.. Enjoy it..

Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
Cinta yang tlah hilang darimu
Yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itu pun
Aku mampu tuk mengenangmu

Darimu...
Kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku...
Kau lah cinta sejati

Ooh...

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang tlah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

Ooh...

Confuse soul....

I am confuse... Should I put this here? Should I put this there? Is this blog looking ok? Is this blog too boring? Is this blog making others dizzy? Haha... Tonnes of questions in my head. All that I studied previously suddenly came into handy.

*Looking at the time* Wao.. It is really late! I need to ask for opinion from all who visit this blog of mine... Yes regardless who you are, I just want you to give me some opinion on it. Is it readable? Is it making you dizzy? I need some feedback on it so that I can do better. I like editing hehe... I did this for 3-4 hours! Gosh... I really hope you all will give me some opinion. Don't worry, just "shoot" me... Anything will do. Thanks =)

Am I writing?

Hmm... Somehow the music is not working... I don't know why.. However, that is just a minor problem, it should be working after a few days? Hopefully it will be functioning.

It is raining outside. it is 1230am now. I like this type environment. I really give thanks to the Lord for the great weather. *Hugging my doggie* Yeah later can have a comfortable sleep. *Hopefully* Looking at my MSN list, the "away" sign is always display there. The more I look at the list the more upset I am. For your information, I am not upset because there is no one chatting with me but for another reason. I choose to close it and not wanting to know who is online in my list. My social life has basically gone down to the level where it is almost 0. I used to chat a lot with friends but now there's no more MSN chat box blinking at my toolbar. No, it is not I who choose not to talk to others but somehow, I don't know why, one by one, my friends didn't want to talk to me. Stressful chatting with me I guess =P

The trails that the Lord put in my life is seriously challenging. I am being push to the corner and asked to hold on to Him rather than the world. It is really a hard test. Can I go through this time of trials? I only know that God will never give us something that we can't handle. Hence, that means I should be able to go through this with His strength upon me. How much longer will this take place I do not know. All I know is God will never allow me to go through this more than what He has planned for me. Ok... I think I am getting blur... I doubt myself that I can understand what I am trying to express here.

......Star, star and more star.... *Stand up*

*Pengsan* (hoorrrrghhhh, Hueeeee, Horrrr, Hueeeee *Snoring*) ZZZZZzzzZZzzzzzZzzzzz.z...zzzZZZZZ