Wednesday, October 25, 2006


Dilemma... Should I take the risk? Should I stay in the room? Which step to take? Only God knows what is good for me... I really need strength, knowledge and wisdom to overcome all this trials.. I read a message from a friend which encouraged me to press on and hold on to Him. He said to me that when I am in a situation like this, just pray.. Pray as though you don't know anything and humble yourself down before the Lord. Every prayer will be heard by the Lord but whether He answer my prayer or not, that I can't decide but to wait patiently for the answer.
I just came back from my grandma's house on Tuesday. It was a fun trip... I was once again united with my relatives =) My niece and nephew are so cute! I was so shock that they are growing so fast! Getting taller and taller each day... How envy am I towards them... No worries, just happy moments... Despite of them getting bitting from their parents, they are really care free! How I wish I can turn back time... How I wish I can be like a child and just eat, sleep and play whole day... Never will I need to know regarding the world, courtship, study, family problems, financial problems and many more... All I need to do is just eat, sleep and play...
I was suprise that I can survive that long without a computer... Well, I didn't do much there though. All I do throughout the 3 days trip there is just eat, sleep and play! Almost every 2-3 hours I am eating.... =.=" My cousin kept on bringing me to foodstall to try out every single thing in Muar, they said I need to gain a little when I go back KL... Besides that, I have been playing with my nieces and nephew. They are really active! I almost go out of breathe playing with them! I do enjoy myself there though =)
The most irritating part of the trip.... Relatives asking me about 2 things... Courtship and Christianity... I really wave white flag to them... I kept quiet most of the time when they are talking about courtship. I got nothing to say about it... I can't believe that my cousin brother, studying only in Form 2 trying to court a girl! GOSH! Everybody there is talking about GF and BF... I really don't know how to react... I don't wish to flash back on my past. The only thing I can think of is... To flee... Run away when you can't take it... Joseph did that right?
What is right and what is wrong? Is it wrong for me to be single at this age? At this very moment, is it wrong to be someone that don't wish to get hurt? Why then people are pushing me to find someone and get married so fast? Due to your own desires, where you hope to have a grandchildren at such a young age doesn't give you the right to say things like that to me, right? I am not even their daughter but I was being questioned on my love story... Hmmm... It doesn't sound right... Who doesn't yearn for a relationship? However, I don't think my "angel" is ready to meet me yet hahaha. Let God lead... All His plan is to prosper me.... =)