Saturday, December 9, 2006

Coming to an end...

It's 11:38pm now.. A dull day... I can't wait until tomorrow.. I am going to church!!!! Happy... Though I didn't manage to finish study my DB but I know one thing for sure that I needed a rest very very badly. December is the month that I hate to go through.. Why? Too many memories.... Besides that, it is the end for another year... Isn't that sad? Looking back... What have I done so far throughout the year?

Well, no doubt that I manage to see more of the world ugly side.... My heart is stabbed continuously one after another to showed me how rebellious I am... However, I thank God for all the things that happened in my life regardless of good or bad because He has drawn me closer to Him. The most satisfied moment... I learnt a lot this year... I think, I think... Should be la.. I am a bit more mature than who I used to be... =P I got to know how fragile I am. I know how weak I am and I know how much I need the Lord in my life. Thinking back.... How stupid am I to have the thinking of leaving Him...

I am stress up... I think my blood pressure also shoot up... Anger came in easily and I really need to watch out... I just faught with 2 guys today.. Isn't it great? Early morning, I already there shouting with my friend... Really am stupid. I really need to learn to be patient, understandable and be humble! Sorry... I know apologies doesn't ease the pain that I caused in your heart but I really wish that in the future we can really talk things in a proper manner... Sorry... I don't know whether do you read my blog but hopefully you are not mad with me...

Another guy? Gone case situation... I just want to explained something to him ended up fighting for don't know what reason and there goes... Different mentality caused the fight. Is it that important to know what really happened last year? You waited for 1 year but I really don't see the link between the thing that you wanted to clarify with me and the purpose of you wanted to know my reason for carrying out the action. Why don't you just ask me straight after that incident? I caused too much of damage in your life already, isn't that enough? I really don't have the courage to face you as how I used to have.. I really don't wish to fall in that category... I really don't wish to... I know I am already in that category though... Girls will always be girls isn't it? Sorry... I know it doesn't help... But the burden in me lead me to seek forgiveness from you. I will watch my action and speech next time.. Well, don't dare to guarantee that I will be perfect in this area next time but I will try my best.

AHHHH... Can there be one moment... Just one moment... For the world to stop spinning and everything around me are still except me? I really wish that there's a moment where I can stop thinking about all this things and just give my very best to Him.. May I stand firm on His words...

4 comments:

tay said...

sis,
In life, there can't be any moment that the world will stop spinning and u can take all ur thoughts off your mind, even thou you are dead(touch wood:) ). So we just need to learn to deal with it.
Life that has pass for 1 whole year, is really time to leave it behind u, n get moving on wif life no matter what came back again.
Just try, let it go and dun think bout it so much, take it easy when ppl trying to argue with u, but do hold on to your dignity and show them the girl power..
p/s: December got christmas ma...hoho

God bless you...
Take care ya.

- @ 3.3 @ - said...

Hahaha... Thanks for ur words. Didn't realise you post a comment here until I received a mail (which i didn't check for quite some time as not in KL =p)

If i were to die, I am willing.. But it back the question to me that am I ready to meet with God and His judgement towards me. On the other hand, how I wish I can meet with my maker faster. Contradicting? Haha... 33 mah.. =P

Take it easy with people? Nah.. I am going to let go of every single thing.. I am nobody in ppl's life so it won't affect ppl's life.. But the moment I start an arguement with them.. They will have a bad reputation towards me. What's the point? Im not here to create a fight but to have peace with ppl.. =) Thanks anyway

Eh how come didn't update blog edy? That busy dating meh....

tay said...

actually i forgotten my username n password..as u can c from my comment,i using tay, not the usual one that i always use.
Haha...dating??Nah...not for now..my lover not here also...u n ah ying not here, where got ppl for me to date.
Well,, is like this wan ma. Ppl wont remember o say anything when u did a good job or a good thing. But once something is wrong, ppl will remember u for that.
U n i been through the stage where ppl talking bout us,as if they really know bout us.But we still survive.So why care now? Ppl have their own mindset of thinking n mouth, we cant change them, but just learn to live with it..
Hehe.. no worries, ur maker wouldn't want to see u k\now, coz HE know that, u can survive in this situation and get experience from it. N furthermore, HE wont meet u now,coz HE know u love me and miss me!!!haha(Let me perasan sikit ya)

- @ 3.3 @ - said...

*vomit* YER!!! so GELI!!! Hahaha.. Oh like that la.. FINE la.. Got lover didn't even introduce to me la... FINE!!!

We here also u didn't date us la.. SO BUSY! Hah... Stil got what to say? YT also got asked me out! NOT LIKE SOMEBODY! Mou liong sam! Hahah..

Oh i will go through all this again.. Sigh.. Sad.. I am tired of thinking and handling all this already.. So.. Make things short and simple... Live my life and don't get involve in anything that is unnecessary ~ =P