Saturday, December 30, 2006


Now of days, to post a post in my blog is harder than climbing a mountain.. Haha.. Darn slow! Thanks to the earthquake in Taiwan. Really hope the people there are alright though.

Having a heavy head while writing this post. Various things in head, running here and there... Work? Tonnes of works need to be done but few manpower... How to finish all those work? I have no idea myself, I can only give my best and leave the rest in God's hand. I don't wish to be a workaholic again, hence, I need to be super careful. I still make sure that I read my bible everyday and spent some time with Him. Don't dare to say that I have a perfect relationship with Him but all I know is I am not as prayerful as I am compared to the last few months.

Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be open for you. Yet you do not receive because you do no ask, even if you ask, you do not receive because you ask according to your own desires.

Now, I really hope that God can be merciful to me. I really wish that He will teachs me on how to pray a prayer that conform with His wills. A burden heart... Having tonnes of stuff in head.. Don't know what is my next step, not knowing how to solve all those problems and many more... A spiritual battle? Can I really have the strength to fight? You know it well that I am weary and weak. I am a hopeless sinner, a sinner that always break your heart. Rebellious among all.. How can I ever come out with something that is glorifying Your mighty name? HOW????

The pain is unbearable but who caused the pain but my own hand? God promised us freedom but why on earth am I trapping myself? Why didn't I get out from the cage when the cage is not even lock? God already unlock the cage but I still choose to be in the cage? How stupid is that? A decision need to be make. Is either this or that. Which to take? Reluctant? I already have an answer in my heart but will I stand firm on my decision? Another sad beginning like last year? Different case but I know the outcome will still be the same... At the end of the story, I know my heart will be broken.. Separating from my own desires is not as easy as I think it is...

Ignore me... This is the place where I blurt out every single thing that is in my heart... Some may understand my post, some may not. If you don't get what I am writing then just take it as it is... As long as God knows what is happening in my dull dull life..