A sincere apologies to you...

I know how you feel... Maybe what you are feeling right now is worse than what I have been through. However, the pressure, the feeling and the pain that we experienced, I think it should be almost the same... That is why... I choose to leave... To leave the place once and for all... Never wish to know anything about that horrible place anymore... Yes, you might said I am a coward, you might think that I am irresponsible, you can say and think whatever you like... I seriously don't mind... Yes, to a certain extend I do take note of all those comment of your's as it reflected me as who I really am... Is my actions glorifying God? I struggled a lot in this issue.... Really fed up in thinking... Because somehow, the result turn out to be vain...

Well, I won't deny that the experience there really help me to gain more knowledge and I thank God that I have the opportunity to be there... To be with all of you...

I learnt something today... Regardless of what you are handling, you should give your best because it is a task that God put in your hand. There shouldn't be something called "I don't like it" in the context because it is us who made the decision in our life. Nobody can actually think and made the decision for you in your life. They can guide you but not made your decision for you. We aren't here to complain but to fulfill what the Lord has planted in our life. Even small little things in your life... Are you giving your best in handling it? To be honest, I didn't.... I am learning now... Though it is late but I will try my best...

Would like to apologies for all those horrid moment that I created in your life... I know it well that no matter what I do now, it can never heal the wound but I still want to apologies for it... Since the day I meet you uptil now, I can never think of a moment of me not giving you sorrow and bitterness. I know I hurt your heart a lot, a lot... I know the feeling of pain... I went through it as well... I know indirectly I have made you changed to be another person... A person that I no longer know well... As I always said, it is your life, you have 100% rights to choose what type of life you want to live in... I already told you what is in my mind previously and I don't need to repeat that again as I am nobody in your life. Who cares anyway? I am not God... Let Him lead you...

To be frank, many times, I miss the person who I met previously... Before the incident took place on the 31/12/2005. A date that I will never in my life forget... The decision I made and the actions I took is sudden for you, I know... As I always said, I did that for a reason. I have review a little regarding my reason of making that decision but that is only 30% of what I am thinking... I didn't want to disclose the reason to you because I know it well that you can never understand it... Spiritual issue... Selfish? If you wish to categorise me in such category then I have nothing to say... Let God judge my actions then..

I know it well that time can never go backwards... I know that I can never have the exact same person back into my life anymore... I know everything happened for a reason... Let the reason be my lesson then...

Sorry for not being an understanding person... I am learning.... It is really a hard task but I know God is there to guide me and you... May the Lord God bless us... Amen..