Wh@t a day...

How to describe my day? Good? Bad? Hmm... Non of the "above" will be my answer... Lost is a more appropriate word to describe my day...

I was actually planning to study yet I fail to do so.. My final is just around the corner and my head is filled with "rubbish"... With what I have now, I can guarantee I will definitely get myself into deep troubles.... Why? Simple... I need to foot my own education and worse comes to worst, you might see me working in one of the shopping mall while everybody is studying....

I have no idea what on earth happened to me.. Not even a clue why all those things came back and haunt me. The thing that I am more concerned is why on earth am I so worried? I prayed but I consider that as a prayer without conviction and faith. In the prayer, I said I want to invite God in my troubles and I commited everything that is borthering me into His mighty hand but what happened? I fail to commit completely. I take back the troubles that I put in God's hand and getting even more worry about it.

Stupidity is the only word I can used to describe.... I felt I am like the Israelite, experienced so many God's grace and love yet I still doubt... Ordering someone to spy on the promise land and making sure that what God gives is seriously good. Why do so? Don't you know that God only gives us the best? All His plan is to prosper us not to harm us!

Just now when I was checking my mail, somehow, God touches my heart through a mail. It wrote there "God loves you and watches over you every day". It is short yes but just like that... This few words... Is more than enough for me... I am filled spiritually...

Besides that, out of the blue, my Window Media Player is playing the song "Still"... I have around 100+ songs in the list and normally this song won't be played as I shuffled the songs. This is a very meaningful song to me... This is the song that I like when I am converted... It is consider as a song that bring me to Christ. The lyrics of the song once again remind me of the joy of salvation.... I should always be happy as God has given me a "black box with a hole" not a "Black box"...

Thank you Daddy... Thank you for reminding me that You are always there for me... Thank you for reminding me the joy of salvation... Thank you for not letting me go even though I am a rebellious girl... Thank you for taking care of my troubles... and most importantly... Thank you for reminding me not to worry on what happened in my life but to seek You first... As You said You will always take care of me.... Thank you Lord...