Wednesday, February 1, 2006

@ngel gal...

Happy Chinese New Year to all... May the Lord bless all of you abundently this year...

As I wrote earlier, I had a harsh start during the new year, I was hoping that I will have a better CNY turn out to be a disappointment..
"Angel.. Angel..." this is my "new" english name thanks to my dear uncle.. "Do you want to go to heaven?" this question is always in my head since the second day I am in Muar. My uncle kept asking me the same old question till the extend I tend to ignore him by smiling.. He never failed to asked my cousins as well..
How this came about? All because of GAMBLE... Is it wrong that I stop gambling? Is it wrong that i do what is right instead of wrong? Is it wrong then for me to say no to gambling? I am the ONLY person there who didnt gamble. I have no idea that I can be that strong, that afraid that I will hurt God's heart. my cousins even younger than me are gambling. I don't know why but my heart is some how aching..
Some how I don't really felt tempt by the cards. It has been 2 years I didn't gamble. a breakthrough to me.. I was a addicted gambler back then haha.. whenever I am at hometown, without fail i will gamble (only during CNY). All my relatives are shock when they heard that i didn't gamble.. See how addicted I am back then? Ok back to the "angel" story...
My uncle was saying that is it because the church don't allow me to gamble, I said no matter what you do you don't hold the account to the church but to God. I can still gamble if I want to do so is my own free will, but I am too fearful to do so.. I am afraid on the consequences that I will need to bare later on.. then my uncle said "ohh... want to be angel now la.. want to go heaven la..." and after that he kept on calling me angel, angel... angel this, angel that..
He told me how good is hell. He said in hell you can do whatever you like, you can gamble, you can drink, you can do whatever God said is bad for you. According to him, in heaven you need to wake up at 5 am do devotion , line up for breakfast, and you need to "carry" a very heavy wing at your back...

Know what I am thinking at that time?
"Lord, forgive him as what he's speaking he does not know."
I actually want to ask my uncle... Have he been to heaven? If no, how come you know we need to wake up at 5am and do devotion and stuff. If yes, will he still say all this and meant it?
Second will God allows you to carry something(wing) when He knows that you can't hold on to it?
Third, if hell is so good then how you define heaven? Do you think the devil will let you play or do stuff like gambling and drinking there? A point to ponder.... Devil is always associate with bad, evil, wick etc will you think he will let you "enjoy" in his place? I serisouly doubt that.. Even my cousin, a non-christian doubt that after hearing my explaination...
I am speechless on his action but I still hold on to what I believes. I strongly believes that God will touch their heart one day and they will be save. Amen..

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