Am I willing?

Who will understand my feeling now? Nobody... Nobody at all but God... Trying my best to put down every single thing that is in my head but I failed to do so. Everywhere I go, every place I visit, every human being I met, every conversation that I made, doesn't seems to be able to take away what is in my heavy head. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second, my head is non-stop spinning, how can I put a stop to this?

Whether is it for the good of myself or not, I will continue to press on and wait patiently for the Lord.. I know His plan is to prosper me and never to harm me. May I stand firm and be strong... I know time will take away all my pain eventually. Until then, may I continue to be with Him and never be shaken due to this.. Though my heart hurts but I know God will heal me... Do I have the faith like the women in Matt 9:20? Am I willing to believe?