Romans...

It is raining heavily at my place... It reminds me of a lot of things... My past specially...

Romans... Romans.... Romans... I am really scare to continue my reading... Trying my best to understand what Paul wants to bring out in that book is seriously a challenge to me... Am I doing that I am suppose to do? There's a saying in the bible... What I ought to do I don't do it, but what I am not suppose to do, I did it all... Human will always be human... Sinning is our "goal" isn't it? Even this very second we are sinning! Our thoughts, our actions, our gesture, our speech, everything!

I used 1 hour plus just to understand Romans 1! Only that one short chapter... I really... Really trying my best to concentrate in the study... I concentrate a lot on verse 18-32... Realised that homosexual is actually not a new term in this century, God has already tell us about it in this few verses! v26-27 (Take note of this... Men committed indecend acts with other men). What troubled me the most is... When God withhold His hand from our life, that's it... You will fall, fall, and fall... Enjoying your sins? Wait until you reach the eternal fire! Trust me, I don't think you can even smile then....

When God gave up on us, His mercy and grace will not be upon us anymore. He gave us to the devil... It is all under His sovereign power that He will save you again... I can never say "You are saved" as I am not God... I can't say "You are hopeless and you can't be saved" to anyone as I am not God... All I know is, salvation is not for all, God choose His people. We will never know who will be save until the time is right. I only hold on to a hope that I will be saved... In order to achieve that, I need to build a strong relationship with God and do what is right.. Strike for perfection and always have faith in Him... And share the gospel!

Actions speaks louder than words... Living a holy life is such a challenge to all... However, I want to put that as my goal... To live a holy life... It is hard... VERY, VERY HARD! Surpressing my own desires with the word of God is really really really hard... Setting your head towards God is always a challenge to me... I know no matter what happened, if I trust in Him, I can go through this.. Moulding stage is always the hardest but after that "wave" God will bless us... We once again got a step closer with God!

May I learn to be more faithful towards Him...