Wednesday, May 3, 2006

Renewed..

Was still in a spiritual down mode before I attend cell group... Somehow I am in stress... I felt that I am not even worthy to be called a Christian...
"Am I a Christian?" I asked myself over and over again throughout the whole week... I don't know what gone into me.. I am too tired to wake up for devotion and sick is the reason I gave myself. Am I pulling myself away from God? What on earth hit my head? My "wires" are somehow mess up... Not knowing what is right and what is wrong. Have I forgotten the joy of salvation? Where is all my joy?
Looking back at my life now I thank God for every single second in my life.... I shall be more discipline starting from tomorrow... I WANT TO HAVE A BREAKTHROUGH!
God is seriously challenging me till the maximum this few months and the only word that God said to me is "I am with you" Sweet doesn't it... but somehow I don't get his meaning... Doesn't understand His plan towards me... Then a song came to me.. "And even though sometime Your way I may not understand, I will never walk away because my future is in your hand."
Today... God spoke to me through CG, again He told me that He is with me and besides that He told me that
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
(2 Corinthians 4:8-9)
My faith is shaken by some trials that He set before me... Hopefully starting from now I will stand firm on His word and not compromise. May He strengthen me everyday and equip me well so that I will not fall on temptation nor stray away from Him....
I want to take this opportunity to thank Michael and Kelvin for supporting, encouraing me and praying for me.. I appreciate a lot.. Your words, your encouragement, your prayer came in just in time....Specially Kelvin, I am so touched by your action man haha.. Thank you...
Special thanks to Ewilly as well... She taught me sometime valueable today, kept me thinking for quite some time... Still thinking though... Hehe.. Thanks sister...
Right after the CG, I felt refilled... I come back to the Lord asking for forgiveness, asking for guidance and asking for strength. I thank God for today CG... I just want to say... I love You, Lord... Help me Lord to know You more and to love You more!

2 comments:

Mike said...

Its good to know that you have been refilled.. :) Keep trusting in the lord and grow in him.. What ever do.. put God first and know that he will help you through it.. XD Gambatte ne!!

- @ 3.3 @ - said...

trying my best to fix my eyes on Him.. desires in my heart is seriously hard to fight!

praying for another breakthrough in life and hopefully i will kill my desires once and for all... thanks mike..