结束了。。。

终于结束了。。 我的心终于有了一个了断。笔记本里头也不许纪录任何关于此事。因为，我不想回顾这一幕。对我而言，这，毕竟是一个很大的突破，从没想过我会下此“棋”， 但我依然相信神的话语是真诚的。

在此情况，我深深的感受到什么是坚持。阅读圣经的时候，我真的没办法不去思考， 主耶稣在十字架上的感受。没办法不去思考， 主耶稣在被钉之前的感受。 没办法不去思考， 主耶稣被折磨的时候的感受。对，我永永远远都没办法明白他的感受。但我知道，他所承受的折磨，痛苦，与侮辱等等，虽然他可以不遵从天父的话语，脱离一切，但他依然不顾一切，选着了听从天父的话语。最后，得到了胜利。如果不是主耶稣的坚持，他的人们就不能被得救。 如果不是主耶稣的遵从，我们拿来的平安与神？如果不是主耶稣， 我们前面的路，就只有死路一条。

神啊， 应许我也像你如此的遵从与坚持。 给与我力量来面对我的未来的路。。

John Bunyan

Was reading a book in the morning and this prayer always came into my mind though I am now almost finishing the book (for your information the prayer was said in the first few chapter of the book).... It is a prayer by John Bunyan..

O Lord, I am a fool and not able to know Truth from Error. Lord leave me not to my own blindness, either to approve of or to condemn, this doctrine. If it be of God, let me not despise it; if it be of the Devil, let me not embrace it. Lord, I lay my soul, in this matter, only at Thy foot; let me not be deceived, I humbly beseech (Ask for or request earnestly) Thee.

Yes, somehow, I am still reluctant to do things that I had in mind. Though I am convicted that I should be carrying out the task but somehow, I am afraid... Afraid that I will be getting negative responds. May that fear be taken away... May it be far far far away from me... May I be like the Lord Jesus Christ who obeyed His Father's will even though it is difficult for Him to bear it. As the prayer uttered above, "if it be of God, let me not despite it and let me not embrace it if that is from the devil." May I do only what is required by God and not my own self-will.

Sempurna

One of my favorite songs for now... Currently "hunting" for this song. Anybody has it?? Ahh... Sometimes I wonder, am I better off to be an Indonesian...

Title: Sempurna (from the movie "Love" soundtrack)
By: Gita Gutawa

Kau begitu sempurna
Dimataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku
Akan slalu memujamu

Disetiap langkahku
Kukan selalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa kubayangkan
Hidupku tanpa cintamu

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku kau begitu....
Sempurna.... sempurna....

Kau genggam tanganku....
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata
Dan hapus smua sesalku

Isaiah 55

Received an unexpected message today morning. However, the news to me is nothing surprising nor unexpected. What surprise me the most is... LOVE. Something that I thought I have all this while but this time, God extended my "love" boundary. Am surprise as well that tears doesn't flow when I saw that message. ^.^

Tears flow only when I was reading the bible. Flipping through what I have learnt yesterday from church. Isaiah 55.

“Ho! Everyone who thirsts, Come to the waters; And you who have no money, Come, buy and eat. Yes, come, buy wine and milk . Without money and without price.
2 Why do you spend money for what is not bread, And your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, And let your soul delight itself in abundance.
3 Incline your ear, and come to Me. Hear, and your soul shall live; And I will make an everlasting covenant with you— The sure mercies of David.
4 Indeed I have given him as a witness to the people, A leader and commander for the people.
5 Surely you shall call a nation you do not know, And nations who do not know you shall run to you, Because of the LORD your God, And the Holy One of Israel; For He has glorified you.”
6 Seek the LORD while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake his way, And the unrighteous man his thoughts; Let him return to the LORD, And He will have mercy on him; And to our God, For He will abundantly pardon.
8 “ For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
9 “ For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.
10 “ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, And do not return there, But water the earth, And make it bring forth and bud, That it may give seed to the sower And bread to the eater,
11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
12 “ For you shall go out with joy, And be led out with peace; The mountains and the hills Shall break forth into singing before you, And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree, And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree; And it shall be to the LORD for a name, For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”

Well it turns out to be a comfort whilst a rebuke to me. Why is it so? Hehe, that is for me to think deeper and not for you all to find out =P But something interesting that I learnt from this passage yesterday is in verse 7. Let the wicked forsake his way, And the unrighteous man his thoughts; Let him return to the LORD, And He will have mercy on him; And to our God, For He will abundantly pardon.

Forsake his way and his thoughts. A person who is truly repented of his sin will be forsaking his way and wanting to do things according to God's ways. Furthermore, he will somehow hate his old ways and knowing that all those things are sinful (because not according to His will) and displeasing before God's eyes. Hence, not wanting to have any relationship with all his old ways anymore.

Though it is noted that self-denial is something very difficult, but I can assured you that it will be worth the price because God said in His latter verse that He is merciful and He will abundantly pardon. Give thanks to the Lord because He is merciful and gracious towards each and everyone of us. Though you might not be a Christian but let me tell you that God is still watching over you because of His mercy towards you. Else you won't be reading this post anymore because sin only leads you to death and not life. Repent now of your sin and turn to our Lord Jesus Christ. Seek Him while He may be found, so that you too will have an everlasting life....

Karen

Was looking through Karen's MTV, ahh... Love her sweet voice.... Enjoy her MTV....

離島


沉默.秘密

The end of semester 1

At last all my final exams are over... Piuhh.... Manage to survive! Just afraid I might not do well in the paper as lack of time to write.... A summary of what happened during the exam period....

First day of exam (Monday - 21.04.2008)
Today as all of us know, the Olympic torch is coming over to KL. Thus, many roads are closed down due to that. As for me, taking note of that news, I went to college early. I departed from my house around 1020am while my exam starts at 11am. The moment I stepped out of my house... After a short 3 minutes drive, I got a shock of my life... THE JAM WAS TERRIBLE!!! I told myself to calm down as I should be able to reach there on time (based on experience).

Nevertheless, panic button was pressed and I kept on praying in the car as the clock was ticking away.... It's 10 minutes to 11am and I just went passed the jam. Then only I realized that the jam was not caused by the Olympic but a big truck "parked" at the middle of the road.... GRRRRRR..... 10 minutes left for me to get my butt on the exam hall seat!!!! NO TIME!!!! I speed like nobody business and when I reached TPM traffic light, it somehow, turned red..... -..=" I panic like mad!!! Mind you, it's very difficult to get parking in TPM that's why I was darn panic.

Passed the traffic light and I left only 5 minute... Ahk! Turned around APIIT car park, great, no parking.... I parked illegally as no choice. Running like a mad lady to the exam hall (4th floor) When I reached the top floor using the stairs, I almost died suffocating. I was just in time for exam... JUST IN TIME.... I got no time to revise my notes but thank God I was able to answer all the questions prompted to me.

During reading time, I wrote down all the points and the flow of my answer. Suddenly the computing students were so noisy, claiming that their exam paper case study are not the same as the case study given by the lecturer earlier on. -..-" They went in and out to find their lecturer. After 15 minutes, two lecturers came in the exam hall, claiming that there was a mistake in the case study. They DIDN'T realize that they gave the students TWO case study instead of one (I presume the computing class is divided into two groups, hence different lecturer is teaching the class. Therefore, having two case study is not an unusual thing IF both the lecturer are not communicating with one another.) BEST PART??? Their examination is canceled. The disturbance came into the picture when 99% of the computing students went out of the exam hall. SO DARN NOISY!!!!!!!! I can't concentrate at all....

Shortly after the students left the exam hall, all those administrators were talking so loudly until I can't even concentrate in writing! I was sitting in the front seat, that's why I was so disturbed by their actions. I got so fed up with them and I asked for a change in seat since the computing students have left the place. One of them asked me to moved to a few tables away from where I was sitting but at the same row. In my heart, I feel like hitting her head because what difference does that make? Despite what she said, my marks are still more important for me, so I went to the back row until I can't hear them talking. Ahh.... Peace and quiet at last...

Though I was able to concentrate then, it is useless as I only left 1 hour to write 2 questions. 2 LONG questions.... How to die? My hand almost gave up in writing as lack of time. I just prayed that God can stop the time for me... T.T SUDDENLY.... Suddenly..... A lecturer came in and asked for one of the administrators to come out from the exam hall... After 1 minute.... "There will be an extension of 30 minute due to the disturbance caused just now...." I feel like crying when I heard that!!!! Giving thanks to God and I continue on with my work!

"Times up" Phew, I mange to finish up the paper on time... *peace* *touch my hand* I can't feel my hand..... -..-" SO PAINFUL.... Madness.... Akh... Went back home after that to sleep...

End of day 1....

Second day of exam aka last day of exam (23.04.2008)
Phobia towards "Just in time" I departed from my place at 10am. Manage to reach there on time and Ah Da gave me a short "revision". My head is... Filled with information and waiting for me to blurt it all out on the paper....

Exam hall mode: quiet ^.^v GOOD!!!!
*Reading the paper* *Smile* Yeah, I think I can answer it... Problem.... My hand will "die" after that 2 hours again... MADNESS!!!! Writing non-stop for 2 hours.... WRITE, WRITE and WRITE... "Times up!"

=End of semester 1=

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..............
When out shopping after that with Ah Da..... Went to bible study and................... SLEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP... SO tired....................................

OK.... That's the end of it... It's HOLIDAY now... WEEEEE.................. To those who are facing exams and assignments, gambateh ya ^.^V

水与油

水与油同样的是液体，但且不能融合。。
不管如何的搅拌， 水依然不与油联合。
神奇吧？也只有神一为能够了解与解释这是为何。

写着这篇日记，突然把这以上的比喻反照在基督教徒的身上。 基督教徒是应该像比喻一样，把自己与世界分开。虽然非基督徒与基督徒同样是人，但他俩总不能混在一起。

除子以外，今天，胡思乱想与自以为是的东西，只要求上帝把我的双眼蒙着，把我的脑袋封着， 好让我“看不见”也不再去“思考”， 免得的罪神你啊。。

宁静。。

当你觉得你可以安宁的离开的时候。。。

The outing... ^.^

When out with dear together with a married couple last Saturday... Didn't really have the time to blog about it as "too busy" with my study...

*Mind you.... Busy with study == Chatting with friends, eating don't know how many meals a day (GAINING WEIGHT ^.^), watching series, playing with dogs, bathing the dogs, SLEEPING like a pig, sms'ing with friends, OH ya, forgot... A small portion of time for opening the slides, ONLY FOR DISPLAY PURPOSES, acting as though I was studying.*

OK back to the topic.... HOHOHOHOHO..... A day to remember... Hahaha.... OK, end of post....

OK, don't bash me just because I wrote that, it is a FACT Bluek.... OK.... Details are as below... Hahaha.. Ya, I am a long winded girl, what to do. *shrug* La la la...

I somehow have the crave for Penang foods for no reason, so our first pit stop of the day was Little Penang Cafe in MV ( F100, First floor). It is located at the corner of the shopping mall, you can hardly recognize the place as it is actually divided into two shop lots yet facing each other. The shop decoration is so-so, as I preferred the one in KLCC. It somehow lack of the "old house" aura. Hmmm... Don't know how to explain on that. Main point is... I got to eat!!! SLURP!!!!! I got myself a Siamese Laksa. When the dishes were served, someone actually took out her camera, and started snapping photos like a professional photographer. In my heart I was like "FASTER!!! I CAN'T WAIT =P"

Surprisingly, it's not that spicy but....... My body seems to think otherwise. I was having "running nose" and my face was getting red while eating the food. Hahaha... Is OK overall, I enjoyed myself there anyway. ^.^

SHOPPING!!!!! HEHEHEE........ Went with dear and we ended up buying some T-shirts for ourselves ^.^ While we were in the fitting room, dear hp kept on ringing... "DIE DIE DIE" Late for round 2 makan session! Quickly we ran to my favorite place......... CHILI'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is located Lot G(E) 012, MV. Ahh.... Feel so like home..... ^.^ OK... I will leave all the "crap" part.... The best part is.... WE GOT FREE FOODS FROM CHILI'S!!!!!!!!!!!! OREO!!!!!!!!!! ^.^ HOW??? La la la.... I am too lazy to write...

For more information and pictures, do visit http://www.meilengloh.com/
OR should I said, if you wish to know how come we (only our table) manage to get free food from Chili's, then read on!!!! She wrote a FULL "report" on the outing, very articulately... No worries, it won't be like mine.. Hahaha... ENJOY!!!!

爸的泪

Looking at a father, shedding tears in front of the people, my heart instantly felt the pain within. Yesterday was a day that I marked down on my calender only with one sentence. 爸的泪。

A cry baby actually went down on her knee, being so thankful that she is not in that situation anymore. Nevertheless, the pain in her remains... Not the pain from the past but the pain that she felt from a father. She could never imagine the pain was so great. NEVER in her life. Yes, what dear said is really true, how merciful and gracious our Father of heaven is. How the crying baby wishes that the girl or should I say woman, will really see the pain that the father is going through. Not only the earthly father but the heavenly Father.

Philippians 3:13-14
May I look up and only upwards and not backwards. May I not fall into the same situation.. May the woman turn away from her own desires and be patience with the Lord's plan.

Bitter Stick Girl...

As the saying goes, picture speaks a thousand words..... Have a look... I really like the blog!

http://www.bitterstickgirl.com/

孩子啊。。

不知为何，心真的很混乱。上帝的话语不停的在脑海中反复不停的旋转。今天的珊杉， 快要崩溃了。人真的要等到失去了才懂得珍惜吗？我，真的不想再回顾那种感觉。。。

读他的话语时，他仿佛对我说，孩子啊，世上是无人能完完全全的遵从我的话语， 除了主耶稣。靠着他，来到我的面前吧。 他会给你力量，他会给你所需的。。 来吧。。。 来到我的面前。。。

我。。 在此刻，只想伸出我的双手，把一切一切都交投给他。。。

心花怒放。。。

啦啦啦。。。。 现在下雨了！开心的我，随着雨中跳舞。。。
韩晓峰哥哥对我的诺言，而仁“大叔”的好消息，最重要的，上帝的恩典！=）
无法形容我现在的开心，正如一股力量从我身上冲上云霄。。。 给于我很大的鼓励， 接下去走我的路。要好好的加油！

好期待下星期六的来临， 好期待去新加坡， 好期待学化妆，好期待学日语！好期待，好期待！

The four wives...

Was reading the newspaper and I saw this story... Something that is happening in the world so frequently yet we are not aware of it.. Or should I say, we are aware of all these things but we chose to ignore it? Either way.... Hopefully this story "awaken" many of you out there...

Our Four Wives
Once upon a time, there was a rich king who had four wives. He loved the fourth wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the third wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another.

The king also loved his second wife. She was his confidante and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever he had a problem, he could confide in her, and she would help him get through the difficult times.

The king's first wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife. Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her!

One day, the king fell ill and knew his time was short. He thought of his luxurious life and wondered, "I now have four wives with me, but when I die, I'll be alone." Thus, he asked the fourth wife,"I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered you with great care. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"NO WAY!" replied the fourth wife and she walked away without another word. Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart. The sad king then asked the third wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"NO!" replied the third wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold. He then asked the second wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you're always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!"replied the second wife. "At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave." Her answer struck him like a bolt of lightning and the king was devastated. Then a voice called out: "I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go."

The king looked up and there was his first wife. She was skinny as she suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the king said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"

In truth, we all have four wives in our lives:
Our fourth wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish on it to make it look good, it will leave us when we die.

Our third wife is out possessions, status, & wealth. When we die, it will all go to others.

Our second wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

And our first wife is our soul, often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, our soul will follow us whenever we go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of us that will follow us to the throne of God and continue with us throughout eternity.

(Taken from The Star, 23th March 2008, from Heart and Soul Session)

An interesting story indeed. Have you then neglecting the first wife as how the king is? Maybe you might think it's not important now as you are still young. Maybe you are thinking of nourishing your first wife when you are old and retired from work. But the question that I want to ask is, how certain are you that you have another day on earth? How certain are you that you won't die this very moment after reading this post? You might think that I'm being an extremist here, but then again, think again. Think a bit further. Are you then able to answer my question so firmly knowing that you will have another day on earth?

If you are concern about your first wife, how certain are you that you are nourishing her with the right things? Are you filling her up with God's words? Don't end up like the king who remorse over his actions at the end of his life. But rather, repent of your sin and allow Jesus Christ to be your personal savior and allow Him and Him alone to change your life. Lastly be assured that the Lord Jesus Christ is waiting for you and readily taking you up to heaven at the end of the day.

一篇不需求明白的“日记”

心， 越来越肯定， 那，一定令神愤怒。
心， 越来越肯定， 那，一定是错误的。
心， 越来越肯定， 那，一定会被惩罚。
心， 越来越肯定， 那，一定走投无路。
心， 越来越肯定， 那，一定不是虚幻。

刚阅读过了一位姐姐的文笔，一方面羡慕她的才华，一方面感谢上帝的话语是如此的真，是如此的活跃。因为籍这她的文笔，神对我说了一些话。。 我相信世上没有人会喜悦聆听别人对自己的真言话语， 但，毕竟就是那些真言话语令你恍然大悟。所以，在写着这篇短短的“日记”当中，头脑不断的出现一句经文，"因 為 主 所 愛 的 ， 他 必 管 教 ， 又 鞭 打 凡 所 收 納 的 兒 子 。" (希伯来书 12：6）。 苏格拉底说得对， “人有两耳双目，只有一舌，因此应多听多看少说。”所以啊， 让我学会，快巧的聆听，缓慢的说话。

古文曰“放下屠刀，立地成佛”。悔改的路如在梦中，近在眼前，却触摸不到。 深深的体验，人是如此的脆弱。感谢神因为即使我是如此的不完美，我是如此的罪恶，我是如此的令人失望，但，他毕竟没离开。他毕竟耐性的教导与带领我回到悔改的路。即使一位好朋友似乎离我而去但感谢上帝的安慰， 感谢上帝的理解。正如美灵姐所说的

“…向 以 色 列 眾 人 說 這 話 的 時 候 ， 百 姓 就 放 聲 而 哭 。”（士师记 2：4-5）
波 金在第五节是 哭 的 意 思。 神把这一幕纪录下来好让我们知道， 即使一个人放 聲 而 哭， 我们必定要分辨他的哭泣是义（i.e. 愧疚自己的罪[凭着神的定义在罪]，自己去法胜过罪所以请求神的帮助因为只有他能洗净我们的罪。）还是哭泣因为自己在困难中，所以请求上帝的帮忙，但，一概雨过天晴，老样子又出现了 （又再次犯罪）， 这并不称为真正的悔改。”

我要学的功课无可否认对我而言，是廷艰难。 也不知现在悔改会不会有作用，但，毕竟罪就是罪， 错就是错， 一概上帝不喜悦的，我都希望把它连根拔起，然后把它抛得远远的。求上帝蒙恩。

Ignore post...

Early morning, while waiting for my brain to warm up and to function, I suddenly thought of dropping some thoughts of mine in this small column.

Sun is rising high above the sky and here I am in front of my laptop, waiting for the time to come to start off with my work. "Discovered" something interesting today during my quiet time, though it is something very common, though it is something that most of the people knew off, but it doesn't matter because it reminded me of a lot of things that I did in the past as well as things that I didn't execute in the past.

Time flies as though nobody realized that a day has passed, looking and reading through something, I realized how fast time went passed me... Somehow realized that I am still like a baby, staying put in a place, crying restlessly and waiting for the milk to come to my mouth. Pathetic scene indeed.

People come and go, yet someone stayed close wherever I go...