The mute 33

It's almost 1210 in the morning and I am still awake... Don't ask me why... Though I feel tired but my brain and heart doesn't seems to link together... Sad?? Yes, I am... Not denying that fact at all.... Why? As I said in the previous post, I am not going to spill the beans.... Hahaha... God knows exactly what happened in my life....

Sometimes, I am wondering... Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I have been praying for the day to come but when God answered my prayer, I suddenly wish to take back what I have uttered all this while... However, I know the future is in God's hand... Nobody can change that fact.... I know His plan is the best for us... I just wish calm myself down... Taking that as a reality is not as easy as I think it is... The pain is so great that I can hardly breathe... How I wish I could just leave everything and meet with the Lord... I really thought I was prepared for the day... But I fail to control the pain... I hate to admit that it is happening right now... In front of my eyes, it happened.... Sometime, I really wish to be a mute... Will that be better for me? Will my decision still be the same then?

Things will still be the same I guess... His will... Let it be done.... I just hope that I have the strength to go on... The strenght to move on... To continue on breathing for Him... May I be patient on His plan... I know I will be greatly rewarded at the end of the day...

My short term goal now? I just wish to save more money... Why?? To fulfill my small little desire in my heart... I just wish to get myself involve in the grooming industry and go to Japan if possible after my graduation... Can I achieve it? Yes.... In my sweet, sweet dream....