Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Fear? Darkness? NO! light is coming

Where am I? Who am I?
Questions and query... In my head spinning none stop.. I know it well that someone is holding my future.. I am starting to take things for granted due to this.. Is it that important to know who am I? That's my answer to my "head"... I choose to let go of myself.. I don't wish to know myself.. Knowing myself hurt more than I can imagine..
Pressure, pressure and pressure all around me.. I started to ponder on the pressure around me.. Is it necessary for me to take it that seriously? I know I can never work well in an environment full of pressure yet I need to put myself in that environment in order to survive.. Am I taking other's words too seriously instead of God's?
Where is the "child" inside of me? Seeking.. Searching.. Looking.. Eagerly I am finding.. yet.. I fail to find it..
The jovial, merry and bubbly me no more exist.. Somehow, I forget how to smile.. The word "smile" does it exist? Yes, it does.. but not in my world I presume? Darkness all around.. I choose to be in that world.. Wanting to overcome it, stand up and bring in brightness to the dark dark world seems to be a failure.. Due to depending on my own flesh..
God suddenly put in a song in my heart.. Know what?
Centre Of My Life
Let my walk speak loud
And my words be true
Let my life be whole and my eyes on You
Lord I'm stepping out, from the comfort zone
Letting go of me, holding on to You

Freedom comes, when I call You Lord
You are Lord, my God

You are the Centre of it all
The universe declares in awe
Your Majesty, I surrender all

I make You the Centre of my life
Lord I respond with all I am
You placed in me the song
Of Heaven's melody
Your Majesty, I live to sing Your song

Verse 2:
I have found Your peace,
it replaces any fear
You have done it all, I can trust in You
Lord I'm stepping out, from the comfort zone
Letting go of me, holding on to You
Bridge:
This is Your song, not mine
It is Your song, that brings healing to this land
This is Your song, not mine
It is Your song, that brings freedom
..
I know.. I know deep in my heart what does this song means.. The words.. Very familiar.. It is what God said previously.. I am hurting Him badly yet I am not doing something? Am I taking action? Hahaha.. I doubt till the max I am doing something to solve it..
Somehow, God present is very very real in me.. I am not imaging stuff or I am lying to myself.. but I can just feel him... So close, so near.. When I pray, I know He's listening..
A sister once asked me how come I always speak in tongue when I am driving. I said don't know. She said is it because you are not confident in your driving and she started laughing... [For your information, yes I do SIT while driving, regardless I'm alone nor fetching my friends. However, when I'm fetching non-christian friends I tend to pray in heart]
Deep in my heart, I actually want to say, I pray because I want to talk to God, no matter what I am doing, I don't wish to let go even a single second to speak to Him.. Know why? because I lost Him before.. Never wish to have that feeling ever in my life again.. I rather you take my life away! I rather suffer! but not taking His present from my life..
I am no one in this world.. Living in a world of lies and pressure.. Keep in mind one thing my dear.. THIS IS MY TEMPORARY HOME NOT PERMENANT! You want to attack me? COME! I am not scare to come face to face with you! I have nothing to fear but God! You want to condemn me? In your dream! You can never do that because God is there to protect and taking care of me! HAVE FAITH 633!
=EnD=

G--oodbye

Kiss Goodbye
王力宏

baby不要再哭泣
  这一幕多么熟悉
  紧握着你的手彼此都舍不得分离
  每一次想开口但不如保持安静
  给我一分钟专心
  好好欣赏你的美
  幸福搭配悲伤
  痛是在我心交叉
  挫折的眼泪不能测试爱的重量
  付出的爱收不回
  还欠你的我不能给
  别把我心也带走
  去跟随


  每一次和你分开
  深深的被你打败
  每一次放弃你的温柔
  痛苦难以释怀
  每一次kiss you goodbye
  爱情的滋味此刻我终于最明白
  
  但欠你的我不能给
  我才明白爱最真实的滋味
  我终于明白

When I am weak n weary

When I am weak, You are my strength.
When I am weak, You are by my side supporting me.
When I am weak, You tell me that You will never leave me.
When I am weak, You tell me that You will never forsake me.
When I am weak, Your love strengthen me.
When I am weak, Your words sustain me.
When I am weak, You lifted me up once again..
When I am weak, Your love is sufficient for me...

Lord, You are my strenght..
Because You first love, that's why I can love others.
Help me Lord to focus my sight on You and not the "wind".
Lord, I am weak but this is the time when
I am the strongest as You are here with me
and to be my strength..
Thank you, Lord...
I love You!

Th3 TEsT....

John Blanchard stood up ffrom the bench, straightened his army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose.
John's interest in her had begun 13 months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with its words, but with the notes pencilled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell.
With time and effort he located her address. She lived in NY City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World Was II.
During the next year and one month, the 2 grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding.
John requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like. When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7pm at Grand Central Station in NY.
"You'll recognise me," she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel."
So at the apppointed time, he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen. I'll let John tell you what happened:
"A young women was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like spring time come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose.
"As I moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips, 'Going my way, sailor?' she murmured. Almost uncontrollably, I made one step closer to her and then I saw Hollis Maynell.
"She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A women well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thickankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes. The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the women whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own.
"And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her. This would not be love, but it will be something precious, comething perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful.
I squarred my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the women, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment.
"I am Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me. May I take you to dinner?"
The women's face broadened into a tolerant smile.
"I don't know what this is about, son," she answered, "But the young lady in the green suit who just went by begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should go and tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!"
"It is not difficult to understand and admire Miss Maynell's wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive."


Many times we often look at the looks of others and fell in love with them... ended up with sorrow and sadness as at the end of the relationship, we realise we had made the wrong choice... Are you one of them? One thing I don't like people to say to me, "I Love you" before he even got to know me in-dept..Looks are deceiving, that's what I always remind myself..
I really hope I will meet a guy like John.. A person who go for heart rather than looks... Yes, he might be disappointed at first but at last he choose to pick the women whose heart he know, didn't he? Romantic.. =)

Monday, February 27, 2006

Lend me your hope

Lend me your hope for awhile,
I seem to have mislaid mine.
Lost and hopeless feelings accompany me daily,
pain and confusion are my companions.
I know not where to turn;
Looking ahead to future times does not bring forth
images of renewed hope.
I see troubled times, pain-filled days, and mare tragedy.
Lend me your hope for awhile,
I seem to have mislaid mine.
Hold my hand and hug me;
listen to all my ramblings, recovery seems so far distant.
The road to healing seems like a long lonely one.
Lend me your hope for awhile,
I seems to have mislaid mine.
Stand by me, offer me your presence, your heart and
your love.
Acknowledge my pain, it is so real and ever present.
I am overwhelmed with sad and conflicting thoughts.
Lend me your hope for awhile;
a time will come when I will heal,
and I will share my renewal,
hope and love with others.
A very meaningful peom to me.. The author is unknown though... Taken from Victory over the darkness, by Neil T.Anderson. I think the author faced the same situation with me? Having pain and confusion as companions... Somehow, something in this book catch my attention..
"Do these words reflect your experience and echo your plea as a believer? Do you sometimes feel hemmed in by the world, the flesh and the devil to the point that you wonder if your Christianity is worth anything? Do you sometimes fear you will never be all God called you to be? Do you long to get on with your Christian maturity and experience the freedom God's Word promises?
Well, I won't tell you which sentence catch my attention that made me stop for awhile and ponder on the question being posted to me. I just can't stop myself from thinking.. My brain.. reflected tones of events in life, as though I am leaving this world soon.. (since young, I heard that when a person is dying, he/she brain will play back his/her life...) All those event were so real in my head as if it is happening in front of me!
Ponder on my life, my attitude, my thinking, my actions, my attire, my everything! After a person encounters God, she will be changed. Am I? I doubt... I am more like a person that hurt Him till the max rather than putting a smile on His face... Heart is willing, body is weak.. My heart is not connecting with my body... Hopeless 33.. Very hopeless..

Sunday, February 26, 2006

L!f3 is like a boat? =/

Life Is like a Boat
Bleach ED Theme
Performed by Rie Fu
Kana/Kanji version

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along
Who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong
We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on comin' and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you thru another day

遠くで息をしてる 透明になったみたい
暗闇に思えたけど 目隠しされてただけ
祈りをささげて 新しい日を待つ
鮮やかに 光る海 その果てまで

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don't give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

人の心はうつりゆく 抜け出したくなる
つきはまた新しい周期で 舟を連れてく

And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore
Oh, I can see the shore
When will I.... can see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I'd feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you, and keep you strong

旅はまだ続いてく 穏やかな日も
つきはまた新しい周期で 舟を照らし出す
祈りをささげて 新しい日を待つ
鮮やかに 光る海 その果てまで

And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore

運命の船を漕ぎ
波は次から次へと
私たちを襲うけど
それも素敵な旅ね
どれも素敵な旅ね

Isn't it Strange? Consider this..

IT'S STRANGE ISN'T IT
Isn't it strange how a 20 dollar bill
seems like such a large
amount when you donate it to church,
but such a small amount when you go shopping?



Isn't it strange how 2 hours seem so long when
you're at church, and how
short they seem when you're watching a good movie?

Isn't it strange that you can't
find a word to say whenyou're praying,
but you have no trouble thinking
what to talk about with a friend?

Isn't it strange how difficult
and boring it is to read one chapter of the Bible,
but how easyit is to read 100 pages of
a popular novel or ZANE GREY book?

Isn't it strange how everyone wants

front-row-tickets to concerts or games,

but they do whatever is possible

to sit at the last row in Church?

Isn't it strange how we need to know

about an event for Church 2-3weeks before the day

so we can include it in our agenda,

but we can adjust it for other events inthe last minute?

Isn't it strange how difficult itis to learn a fact

about God to share it with others,

but how easy it is to

learn, understand, extend and repeat gossip?

Isn't it strange how everyone wants a place in heaven,

but they don't want to believe, do, or say anything to get there?

Isn't it strange how we send jokes in e-mails

and they are forwarded right away,

but when we are going to send messages about God,

we think about it twice before we share it with others?

IT'S STRANGE ISN'T IT?

Now that you've read this message,

forward it to anybody that you consider a friend, family member or foe(enemy).

If you don't do it not only you will deprive yourself from being blessed,

but you will also do that to others who may need God in their life.

Friday, February 24, 2006

A prayer..

Heavenly Father, I pray that you will just forgive my sins and cleanse me once agian with your blood. I pray that Lord you will just take away the fear in me and rain down on me the peace from above.
I pray that Lord whatever I have studied will remain in me. I pray that Lord I am able to answer all the question in the test later with the knowledge that I have. I pray that I have sufficient time to write down all the answer. I pray that I'm able to glorify Your mighty name with my result.
Thank you Lord for not leaving me alone.. Thank you Lord for the blessing on me.. I uphold my exam into Your mighty hand, may you Lord take care of the exam...
All this I pray in Jesus name, Amen!

STUPID....

Yawn... Super SLEEPY!!! God, help me! Law.. seriously kills me.. I am in the midst of blur blur situation... What is agent? What is independent contractor? haha.. An independent constractor is a person who contract with another do something for him who is not controlled by other nor subject to other's right to control with the respect to his physical conduct in the performance of the undertaking. How come the definition need to be that long? Issh...
Java test is down the drain.... It looks impossible for me to get an A.. In fact, I doubt I can even get a B+! T.T
How come when I want to prepare for my exam the time passes by so fast and the same thing happened when I am sitting for an exam.. I have insufficient time to write! How come....
Pray, pray and pray for me! Need tones of prayers.. Need knowledge and wisdom to score in this semester final exam... Today is MY LAST PAPER! PRAY! hopefully I can do well by God's grace.. Amen...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

commitment... A hard lesson to learn...

Commitment means
we take the worst of each other
the best of each other
and the in-between of each other.
Stirring it all together
we say with loyalty
and gental understanding
"I love and totally accept the mixture of you"


(1 Peter 3:8-9)
To sum up, let all be harmonious , sympathetic,
botherly, kindheartedly,
and humble in spirit;
not returning evil with evil,
or insult for insult,
but giving a blessing

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Giving is better than receiving

Do not be one who stretches out his hands to receive but closes them when it comes to giving.

-The Didache

Grant Us True Peace....


O God! O our Master!
You are eternal life and everlasting peace by Your essence and attributes.
The everlasting peace is from You and it returns to You.
O our Sustainer!
Grant us the life of true peace and usher us into the abode of peace.
O Glorious and Bounteous One!
You are blessed and sublime.
Got this prayer from a website... Well I think this prayer is very suitable for me as I seriously need peace of God in me... Hopefully all of you are blessed too~

Scary...

Yesterday.... Is the day... I fear the most.. I seriously underestimated what God can really do! For some reason, I don't what happened as well, I told God to strike me with lighting... I am seriously out of my mind! I was not "me"!

It was raining heavily yesterday... Around 4pm... I was waiting for Ewilly to come over my house to fetch me.. I was making myself something to drink and suddenly this words came out from my mouth.. I said "God, it is raining now... How nice..." (For your information, I like the rain a lot) suddenly I said "I am very sinful..." In conjuction, I felt very very guilty.. Only God and I know what happened... Until the extend, I felt like I am not worthy to praise Him at all.. Not worthy to even talk to Him... Not worthy to even call out His name... Not even worthy to look up and say "I love You"... I keep on apologies.. Yes, I will never deny that I am sinful.. I will never... because I know... know that I am sinful in nature.. When I said this, in my heart I said to myself "God loves me very much, He will never do such thing even though I asked for it... Later I just repend then can already...

Note here... See how contradicting I am that time? I was totally blur! I struggled... Which to listen? For a moment, I lost myself... I tend to take things for granted...

Now.. what happened next shock me! I said "God, tell me where should I stand in order for you to punish me... Tell me the place that I should stand in order for the lighting to strike me..."

I seriously have no idea what got into me... Seriously don't know! I was at my living room that time, suddenly I went to the TV switch and on it. While I am walking to the couch, suddenly there is a explotion... Something like lighting strike on the TV. I... Totally stone... Looking at the TV... Nothing happened... I went to the switch, nothing at all.. No smoke, no burn, NOTHING.. My body was not with me for a while... I just stood there... I switch off the TV.. Scary!

I sat down and pray.. Then something came into my head.. What am I doing? What did I said just now? How come I said something like that? No matter how sinful I am, God will forgive and change me, IF I REPEND sincerely! I know that by faith, I am saved... How come suddenly I tend to take things for granted? All that I have, belongs to Him, never mine... but how come I came out with all this? I, myself was blur.. super blur.. Stress all around me.. I am like flying with the wind.. Scary!

However, I thank God for speaking to me through the sermon... I knew what went wrong in my life.. Now... I need to seriously need to... come back to Him... A breakthough will be happening in my life.. That is all I know... and that is what I believe...

A reminder to myself.....
=Phil=
Always remember this...

-Signing off-

Choices... In Life...

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say.
When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood."
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes, it is," he said.
"Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood.
The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life." I reflected on what he said.
Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied.
"Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
He continued, "..the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John.
"She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.'
The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'." Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything .
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34.
After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Friday, February 17, 2006

A Dream? A Reality? A Vision? A lesson...

Have you ever experience a day when you wake up from your beautiful sleep and suddenly God is speaking to you? The moment you open your eyes and you said "Good morning, Daddy" and He started to speaks... well of cause He will make sure you open your "ears" and listen to Him...
This is what happened to me... I was amaze yet disappointed... Amaze on how God speaks to me but disappointed with myself after hearing what God wants to said to me. God kept on urging me to read a book in the bible.. I have no idea what is the book about before I read it... The spirit was telling me that I need to open the bible and read that book immediately.. It is quite serious...
Ah... Good rebuke... I know what is in me.. RUBBISH!!!! I tried to hide from God although I know it is useless... I was scare.. I was crying and praying... God actually pointed it out... I was avoiding all this while.. Having breakthrough in life but I fall once again... Humans.. Disappoint you anytime and anywhere doesn't it? Including self..
A person who is under stress seriously does tones of silly stuff... My brain is never associate with my heart for the past few weeks.. It is true that "what I need to do, I don't do but what I am not suppose to do, I do..."
I am always weak.. That is why I need You more, Lord.
I am always in troubles... That is why I yearn even more for You, Lord.
I am always in hopeless situation yet because of You I have hope in everything.
I always have uncertainty in my head yet You assure me that all Your plans is to prosper me and never to hurt me.
Lord, come into my life as I commit it into Your hand.
Lord, come into my troubles as I uphold them into Your hand.
Lord, come and be the center of my heart and guide me!
Help me out of all this mess..
Help me to let go of myself
and hold on to You...
I just want to say "thank you" to you, Lord.
All You have done in my life..
Good or bad...
I just want to give thanks....
I love You, Father....

Love at First Sight....

Love at First Sight
by Wislawa Szymborska (translated by Walter Whipple)

Both are convinced
that a sudden surge of emotion bound them together.
Beautiful is such a certainty,
but uncertainty is more beautiful.Because they didn’t know each other earlier,
they suppose that
nothing was happening between them.
What of the streets, stairways and corridors
where they could have passed each other long ago?I’d like to ask them
whether they remember–perhaps in a revolving door
ever being face to face?
an “excuse me” in a crowdor a voice “wrong number” in the receiver.
But I know their answer:
no, they don’t remember.They’d be greatly astonished
to learn that for a long time
chance had been playing with them.Not yet wholly ready
to transform into fate for them
it approached them,
then backed off,
stood in their way
and, suppressing a giggle,
jumped to the side.There were signs, signals:
but what of it if they were illegible.
Perhaps three years ago,or last Tuesday
did a certain leaflet fly
from shoulder to shoulder?There was something lost and picked up.
Who knows but what it was a ball
in the bushes of childhood.There were doorknobs and bells
on which earlier touch piled on touch.
Bags beside each other in the luggage room.
Perhaps they had the same dream on a certain night,
suddenly erased after waking.Every beginning
is but a continuation,
and the book of events
is never more than half open.

Fortuneteller
by Li Zhiyi (Movie Translation)

I live at the head of the Yangtze River,
you live at its mouth
I think of you constantly but never see you
Though we drink the same Yangtze water
When will this river rest?
When will my pain end?
If your feelings are just the same as mine,
We’ll never stop longing for each other.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Wh@t a day...

How to describe my day? Good? Bad? Hmm... Non of the "above" will be my answer... Lost is a more appropriate word to describe my day...

I was actually planning to study yet I fail to do so.. My final is just around the corner and my head is filled with "rubbish"... With what I have now, I can guarantee I will definitely get myself into deep troubles.... Why? Simple... I need to foot my own education and worse comes to worst, you might see me working in one of the shopping mall while everybody is studying....

I have no idea what on earth happened to me.. Not even a clue why all those things came back and haunt me. The thing that I am more concerned is why on earth am I so worried? I prayed but I consider that as a prayer without conviction and faith. In the prayer, I said I want to invite God in my troubles and I commited everything that is borthering me into His mighty hand but what happened? I fail to commit completely. I take back the troubles that I put in God's hand and getting even more worry about it.

Stupidity is the only word I can used to describe.... I felt I am like the Israelite, experienced so many God's grace and love yet I still doubt... Ordering someone to spy on the promise land and making sure that what God gives is seriously good. Why do so? Don't you know that God only gives us the best? All His plan is to prosper us not to harm us!

Just now when I was checking my mail, somehow, God touches my heart through a mail. It wrote there "God loves you and watches over you every day". It is short yes but just like that... This few words... Is more than enough for me... I am filled spiritually...

Besides that, out of the blue, my Window Media Player is playing the song "Still"... I have around 100+ songs in the list and normally this song won't be played as I shuffled the songs. This is a very meaningful song to me... This is the song that I like when I am converted... It is consider as a song that bring me to Christ. The lyrics of the song once again remind me of the joy of salvation.... I should always be happy as God has given me a "black box with a hole" not a "Black box"...

Thank you Daddy... Thank you for reminding me that You are always there for me... Thank you for reminding me the joy of salvation... Thank you for not letting me go even though I am a rebellious girl... Thank you for taking care of my troubles... and most importantly... Thank you for reminding me not to worry on what happened in my life but to seek You first... As You said You will always take care of me.... Thank you Lord...

God's boxes

I got this from a friend... It touches my heart... Hmm.. I don't wish to share the reason though... However, this is very meaningful and I hope that you will treasure your friends even more after reading this.
God's Boxes
I have in my hands two boxes, Which God gave me to hold.
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box, And all your joys in the gold."
I heeded His words, and in the two boxes, Both my joys and sorrows I stored, But though the gold became heavier each day, The black was as light as before.
With curiosity, I opened the black, I wanted to find out why, And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole, Which my sorrows had fallen out by. I showed the hole to God, and mused,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be!"
He smiled a gentle smile and said,
"My child, they're all here with me.."
I asked God, why He gave me the boxes, Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings, The black is for you to let go."
We should consider all of our friends a blessing. Send this to a friend today just to let them know you are thinking of them and that they are a joy in your life. A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end. It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends. But the treasure inside for you to see, Is the treasure of friendship you've granted to me.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

S-o-R-r-Y

Laying down your arms,
surrendering,
saying you are sorry,
realizing that you have been on the wrong track
and getting ready to start life over again from the ground floor
- that is the only way out of a hole.
-C.S. Lewis

Watch out...

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

- Frank Outlaw

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Flash..

I fell in love with this website.. It is a normal and simple flash yet very meaningful... Hope you all enjoy the flash...

1) http://www.interviewwithgod.com/lovemovie/index.htm [Love]

2) http://www.interviewwithgod.com/lightmovie.htm [God is light]

3) http://www.interviewwithgod.com/beatitudes/index.htm [The Beautitudes]

4) http://www.interviewwithgod.com/newbeginning/index.htm [A new beginning]

= @ sad story =

Appreciate all the people around you... You will never know what will happen next...

一個感人的愛情故事

有一個年輕人喜歡上了在便利商店打工的女孩,他每天都會到女孩工作的店裡面買一包香煙,漸漸的兩人開始互相熟悉,當女孩工作感到無聊乏味的時候,年輕人就會出現,他會陪女孩說說話 ,或是逗女孩開心.女孩也知道年輕人似乎喜歡上自己了,可是自己已經有很要好的男友.有商店夾公仔機...

女孩很喜歡裡面的娃娃,年輕人知道以後,當天他終於對她表白,希望女孩能接受他,不知如何是好的女孩,只能殘忍的告訴年輕人,她和他是不可能的,因為她已經有深愛的男友了,年輕人聽了之後默然的點點頭,他不死心的問女孩,自己真的沒有機會了嗎?善良的女孩不忍心....於是她手指著娃娃機裡面的絨毛娃娃說,除非你夾滿100個娃娃,而且一天只能夾一個.

原來女孩希望用時間來沖淡年輕人對自己的感情 ,她心想,一天夾1個娃娃, 最快也要三個多月之後才有100個,而且年輕人應該不會真的有耐心夾滿100個娃娃吧這三個月的時間,她會盡量與男孩保持距離,年輕人還是每天到商店來,可是女孩開始變得冷淡,他總是試著聊一些女孩有興趣的話題,不過女孩依然愛理不理.因為她知道唯有這樣做,才不會讓年輕人越陷越深.

年輕人或許是感覺到女孩的用意,於是他每天夾娃娃,有時運氣好夾一兩次就中了,有時運氣差,零用錢花光了也夾不到,只好跟朋友借錢繼續夾,一直到夾中為止.無論花多少錢花多少時間,他每天一定會夾一個娃娃,只是他無法與女孩分享夾到娃娃的喜悅,因為他知道女孩有意要避開他,為了怕引響到女孩的情緒,他只能在櫥窗外頭微笑的對女孩點點頭.

好幾次,看到年輕人因為夾到娃娃興高采烈的樣子,女孩都想要衝出去對他說,我是騙你的,你不要再夾了,就算你真的夾到100個娃娃,我跟你也是不可能的!但是一想到年輕人希望破滅的樣子,女孩就於心不忍,她只能不斷猶豫.就這樣1 天,2天,3天..,年輕人的娃娃數量不斷的累積,而女孩刻意與年輕人保持距離的結果,則是讓自己在工作的時後更顯孤單.

不知道是哪一天,女孩子因為在外地工作的男友無法回來陪她過18歲的生日,與男友吵了一架,而那天年輕人仍一如往常的來到便利商店,不同的是那天年輕人竟走進了店裡,他對女孩說,可不可以破例讓他在今天夾兩個娃娃回去,可是因為和男友吵架而心情不佳的女孩,很生氣的當場拒絕了他.就這樣,年輕人走到娃娃機旁,默默的夾了一個娃娃回去,在年輕人離開的時後,他對櫥窗裡的女孩看了一眼.

隔天以後,年輕人再也沒來夾娃娃了.剛開始女孩雖然覺得奇怪,但是仍然慶幸自己終於放下了心中的大石頭.可是漸漸的,她突然覺得不習慣,因為那個每天都會為了她來夾娃娃的熟悉背影,好像空氣一樣就消失不見了,這時女孩才發現到,原來她心中的失落感遠遠超過年輕人所帶給她的負擔.只是一切都...

女孩開始想念以前年輕人來店裡陪她聊天的點點滴滴.哪怕他只是站在櫥窗外頭沉默不語的夾娃娃,似乎都會帶給她莫名的安全感.所以女孩每天上班時,總是不斷的抬頭張望,那個熟悉的身影來了嗎? 可惜的是,年輕人始終沒出現, 只剩下那台沒人使用的娃娃機.

有一天,女孩下班後,在店門口遇到了以前常和年輕人一起來的朋友,她焦急的問他年輕人的下落,可是年輕人的朋友則是一臉黯然,他帶女孩來到年輕人的家,當他開啟年輕人的房間的門時,映入女孩眼簾的是 一群娃娃機裡面的絨毛娃娃,以及躺在床上動也不動的年輕人.

原來年輕人的脊椎有病,必須要開刀才能保住生命,可是開刀有一半的機率會失敗而導致全身癱瘓,年輕人在開刀的前一天晚上,也就是女孩和男友大吵一架的那天,希望女孩給他機會夾2個娃娃,因為他已經累積有98個了,然而卻遭到女孩的回絕,隔天之後年輕人手術不幸失敗變成植物人.

年輕人的母親拿了一封信給女孩,那是年輕人在手術之前寫好的:其實我早就知道,就算夾到了100個娃娃,妳也不可能會喜歡我,我之所以這麼做並不是故意要造成妳的困擾,而是希望在我有限的時間裡,證明我曾經很用心的去愛一個人,這樣就足夠了,如果妳看到了這封信,那表示我再也無法為你夾娃娃了,對不起,或許我的努力還不夠吧,沒能夾到100個娃娃親手送給你..

女孩看著床邊的99個絨毛娃娃,那是99顆無法承受的真心,眼眶裡的淚水早已決堤而出...隔天女孩來到年輕人的家,她將第100個絨毛娃娃放到年輕人的手中,這時已經變成植物人的他,眼睛流下了淚水...

Hmm...

Haha.. My blog will be overflowing with lots of "love" post... I got all this from E-mail, poem website, etc.. I can't really remember also as I kept all this for quite some time.. So... Enjoy reading it...

L-o-V-e is....

LOVE is...
When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure.
But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher.
In the game of love, it doesn’t really matter who won or who lost.

What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go!
You know you really love someone when you
want him or her to be happy even if his or her happiness
Means that you are not part of it.
Everything happens for the best.
If the person you love doesn’t love u back,
Don’t be afraid to love someone else again,
for you will never know unless u give it a try.
You will never love a person you love unless you risk for love.
Love strikes in hurting.
If you don’t get hurt,
You don’t learn how to love.
Love doesn’t hurt all the time.
Though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow.

Don’t find love, let love find you.
That is why it is called falling in love
because you don’t force yourself to fall.
You just fall.
Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling.
It should inspire you
and give you joy and strength.
But sometimes the things that give you joy
can also hurt you in the end.
The greatest irony of love is letting go
when you need to hold on
and holding on when you need to let go.
Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken,
no matter how scary or painful,
for only then you will experience the fullness of humanity
and that is love.
Only love can hurt your heart,
fill you with desire and tear you apart.
Only love can make you cry
And only love knows why.
If you are not ready to cry,
If you are not ready to take e risk,
if you are not ready to feel the pain,
then you are not ready to fall in love.

There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love
because every time we do, we get hurt,
then I figured that is why it is calledfalling in love.
Whatever happened, dont give up!
It is just a trial.
Have faith in yourself and cheer up.
When you decide to love, allow it to grow.
When you promise to love, refuse it to die~!

*~THAT'S GOD ~*


NOW THAT'S GOD

It was one of the hottest days of the dry season. We had not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were dying. Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and streams were long gone back into the earth. It was a dry season that would bankrupt several farmers before it was through.
Every day, my husband and his brothers would go about the arduous process of trying to get water to the fields. Lately this process had involved taking a truck
to the local water rendering plant and filling it up with water. But severe rationing had cut everyone off. If we didn’t see some rain soon...we would lose everything.
It was on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing and witnessed the only miracle I have seen with my own eyes. I was in the kitchen making lunch for my husband and his brothers when I saw my six-year-old son, Billy, walking toward the woods. He wasn't walking with the usual carefree abandon of a youth but with a serious purpose. I could only see his back. He was obviously walking with a great effort ... trying to be as still as possible. Minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came running out again, toward the house. I went back to making sandwiches; thinking that whatever task he had been doing was completed.
Moments later, however, he was once again walking in that slow purposeful stride toward the woods. This activity went on for an hour: walking carefully to the woods, running back to the house. Finally I couldn't take it any longer and I crept out of the house and followed him on his journey (being very careful not to be seen...as he was obviously doing important work and didn't need his Mommy checking up on him). He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked, being very careful not to spill the water he held in them ... maybe two or three tablespoons were held in his tiny hands. I sneaked close as he went into the woods.
Branches and thorns slapped his little face, but he did not try to avoid them. He had a much higher purpose. As I leaned in to spy on him, I saw the most amazing site. Several large deer loomed in front of him. Billy walked right up to them. I almost screamed for him to get away. A huge buck with elaborate antlers was dangerously close. But the buck did not threaten him...he didn't even move as Billy knelt down. And I saw a tiny fawn lying on the ground; obviously suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion, lift its head with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my beautiful boy's hand. When the water was gone, Billy jumped up to run back to the house and I hid behind a tree.
I followed him back to the house to a spigot to which we had shut off the water. Billy opened it all the way up and a small trickle began to creep out. He knelt there, letting the drip, drip slowly fill up his makeshift "cup," as the sun beat down on his little back. And it came clear to me: The trouble he had gotten into for playing with the hose the week before. The lecture he had received about the importance of not wasting water. The reason he didn't ask me to help him. It took almost twenty minutes for the drops to fill his hands. When he stood up and began the trek back, I was there in front of him. His little eyes just filled with tears.
"I'm not wasting," was all he said.
As he began his walk, I joined him...with a small pot of water from the kitchen. I let him tend to the fawn. I stayed away. It was his job. I stood on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful heart I have ever known working so hard to save another life. As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground, other drops...and more drops...and more suddenly joined them. I looked up at the sky.
It was as if God, himself, was weeping with pride. Some will probably say that this was all just a huge coincidence. Those miracles don't really exist. That it was bound to rain sometime. And I can't argue with that... I'm not going to try. All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our farm...just like the actions of one little boy saved another.
I don't know if anyone will read this...but I had to send it out. To honor the memory of my beautiful Billy, who was taken from me much too soon... But not before showing me the true face of God, in a little, sunburned body.
*~THAT'S GOD ~*
Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for?
THAT'S GOD!
He speaks to you through the Holy Spirit
Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to Talk to?
THAT'S GOD!
He wants you to speak to Him.
Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from them?
THAT'S GOD!
There's no such thing as coincidence.
Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you wanted, but couldn't afford.
THAT'S GOD. .
He knows the desires of your heart. .
Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it is going to get better, but now you look back on it?
THAT'S GOD!
He passes us through tribulation to see a brighter day.
DO YOU THINK THAT THIS CARD WAS ACCIDENTALLY SENT TO YOU?
NOPE!
Please pass this along and share the Power of God.
In all that we do, we need to totally give HIM
Thanks and our blessings will continue to multiply.
NOW THAT'S GOD!!!!!!!!
Don't tell GOD how Big your storm is.
Tell the storm how Big your GOD is!
HAVE A BLESSED DAY

s0m3 say L-o_V-e

All this while, I am wondering what is the meaning of "love"... Have you ever wonder what "love" is? Yes? No? In my opinion, in this world, there will never be an exact explaination nor definition for love... Love is too wonderful to even describe it, love is too fascinating to even use words to define it.. Love is.. just Love..
Some say Love
Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you its only seed

It's the soul afraid of dreaming,
That never learns to dance
And the soul afraid of waking,
That never takes the chance

It's the one, who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying,
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
When you feel that love is only
For the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose
(Got this poem from an E-mail)

j-0-k3

I found this from a friend's blog in Friendster.. It is quite interesting and cute.. haha.. I have combine most of his blog and came out with this... Hope you all enjoy it..


久了就明白
法文課時,老師完全以法文講解,學生不大聽得懂,要求他加一點中文補充。老師站在訓練學生聽力的觀點上說:「不要害怕聽不懂,學語言就是要多聽。你們每天聽我說法文,久了自然就明白了。」這時有個學生忽然說: 「可是我每天聽小狗叫,也不知道牠在說些什麼?」



徵婚
話說有一個女人到了婚姻介紹所徵婚....她跟介紹所的人說她理想對像的條件是:「我理想的丈夫,白天要像紳士、晚上要如猛獸...」介紹所的人:「那我介紹狼人給妳好了!」女人:「那如果... 不是月圓之日怎麼辦勒?」



站在哪一邊
李太太口沬橫飛地對鄰人數落自己先生的不是,正巧她的可愛的兒子小明放學回來。李太太心想小明最向著自己了,因此就問小明:「 如果爸爸媽媽吵架了,你會站在哪一邊?」小明想了想說: 「站旁邊!」



算數
課堂中,老師說:「如果我分別給你1 隻、2 隻、3 隻狗,那你共有幾隻狗?」 學生說:「7 隻!」 老師疑惑的又問了一遍:「如果我分別給你1 隻、2 隻、3 隻狗,那你共有幾隻狗?」學生仍說:「7 隻!」 老師不肯放棄,決定用另一種方式問:「如果我分別給你1 瓶、2 瓶酒、3 瓶酒,那你共有幾瓶酒?」學生說:「6 瓶!」 老師說:「太好了!同理可證。     我分別給你1隻、2隻、3隻,那你共有幾隻狗?」 學生說:「7 隻!」 老師實在受不了:「你是豬啊!你怎麼算出 7 隻的!」 學生慢慢地回答說: 「我家己經養了一隻狗,你給我6 隻,那不就共有7 隻了嗎?」



偷看日記
某日,妹妹向媽媽告狀妹妹:『媽!姊姊偷看我的日記啦。』媽媽:『你怎麼知道?』妹妹: 『她日記上寫的!』


烤焦的土司
小明在12歲時,他的下體還是跟以前小時候一樣大小, 他媽媽粉擔心,於是便去找醫生。醫生跟他說吃烤焦的吐司,可以增加長度!於是隔天早上,小明看到桌上有一大條烤焦的吐司, 小明就跟媽媽說:「媽媽!我不要吃那麼多啦!」媽媽溫柔地答說: 「你只要吃一片就好了!其它是給你爸爸吃的!」


Thursday, February 9, 2006

Great day.. with a GREAT leg...

What a day... My leg is getting "fatter and fatter" day by day... Since last week, I am feeling the pain in my leg.. Muscle ache... I wonder why... I didn't go for any extreme exercise nor torture my leg but when I am walking my muscle is tighthen for some reason.. Hmm now I doubt that it is only muscle ache...

GO AND SEE A DOCTOR!!! That is what I have been listening to throughout the whole week.. SMS, MSN, face to face talking.. 90% will be speaking about doctor... As if I fell in love with a doctor... =.=" I will make sure myself... make sure that I will try my level best not to fall in love with a doctor... In fact, I am scare of doctor! haha.. Since young I am afraid of that person... I hate taking tablets when I am sick. I refuse to visit a doctor even though I am died sick... It is just me... A person who hate doctor... Not to say hate but scare! I grew up together with medicine... That is why I am afraid of doctor... Haha... Weird girl.... so I think the possibility for me to fall in love with a doctor will be very slim... VERY VERY SLIM.... It is almost equal to zero.

ok back to my swollen leg...

TO ALL>>>>> I already see a doctor.. I went there alone on Monday... I force myself to step in the clinic.. Footing my own bill.. All this because I am afraid that my leg will be swollen and I will have a elephant leg then.. I DON'T WANT! Haha... Ok la.. I admit.. I care too much on beauty, whereby I should be putting more attention on my health.. Hehe.. However, to be frank, I don't really dress up lately... I felt is a waste of time actually... I only have this feeling this year... Past relationship do change me a lot.. I am starting to get bored of dress up as looks might be deceiving.. I want to spend more time in "dressing up" the inner me...

Hmm.. I realise I really like to stray away from the main topic of today's blog.. Haha.. OK... Now I will concentrate...

Today, when I was on the way to the car park, with two aching leg... Suddenly, my leg is so weak... I fell... well, I didn't really fall... Hmm... How to describe that "fall"? Ok... Something like I twisted my leg and my whole body is like falling.. I thank God that I didn't fall on the road! If not... I will cry! Imagine the scar that will be staying on my body... NO!!!! However.... I experienced something even worse than that... After that "fall", suddenly my back bone started to ache... OH NO!! I am very scare... Scare that it will affect the back bone.. I am still scare while I am writing this blog! I have no idea what to do.. My final exam is on the 20th of February! Is just two weeks from now! I am so died..

God..... HELP ME!!!! I DON'T WANT TO VISIT THE DOCTOR AGAIN! Scary!!!!!!!! Injection, taking my blood for examination, consuming those tablets, X-Ray, examine my blood pressure, examine my urine, etc I don't want to go through all those again! It is the most horrible event in my life! Specially the needle poking through my skin... It is painful and the needle is super scary!

Keep me in prayer... I feel like I am Job in the bible... Trails all the way... Haha.. but I didn't go through what he went through... His trials are much more "extreme" than mine... Is ok... Although I do not know what lies ahead but I do know who is holding it...

Ok... Happy Valentine Day to all.... I love you all! May the Lord bless you all abundently during Valentine Day...

=signing off=

Wednesday, February 8, 2006

A meaningful song....

I think everyone will realise that I had again upload a new song in this blog... Hehe.. Valentine Day... Must have some "mood" in this blog also...

This is a very meaningful song to me.. Reason? Haha.. I don't wish to reveal it.. Only two person, God and I, know exactly what happened.... If you are thinking that God dedicated this song to me... You are on the wrong path.. haha.. Either do I dedicate this song to God... because if I really want to dedicate Him a song, I will not use songs sang by non-christian.. However, I would like to try it out one day to compose a song for Daddy God.... =)

This is song is specially dedicated to a person.. A very special person in my life... Really hope he hear this song... He will always remain in my heart... As I can never see him anymore... No matter how I look for him... Even though I go around the world, I still can't find him... He is no where to be found... Unless... Unless.... God performs a miracle... A miracle in his and my life...



@ L0v3 LeTTer?

It is very interesting.. A letter... A love letter? A heart breaking letter? I respect the person who wrote this.. I have no idea where I get this letter but I would like to share this letter with all of you... Since Valentine Day is around the corner, my blog will be filled with "love story" and stuff... My blog theme for this month will be "Love"....


The Love Letter
The great love that I have for you
我 對 妳 的 深 愛
is gone, and I find my dislike for you
已 不 再 , 並 且 發 現 我 對 妳 的 憎 惡 卻
grows every day. When I see you,
與 日 俱 增 。 每 當 看 著 妳 ,
I do not even like your face;
我 一 點 也 不 喜 歡 妳 的 長 相 ;
the one thing that I want to do is to
我 很 想 做 的 一 件 事 就 是
look at other girls. I never wanted to
瞧 瞧 別 的 女 孩 。 我 從 未 想 過 要
marry you. Our last conversation
娶 妳 為 妻 。 我 們 的 最 後 一 次 約 會
was very boring and has not
是 那 麼 的 無 聊 , 而 且 並 未
made me look forward to seeing you again.
讓 我 期 待 與 妳 的 再 次 相 會 。
You think only of yourself.
妳 只 想 到 妳 自 己 。
If we were married, I know that I would find
如 果 我 們 結 婚 , 我 相 信 我 一 定 會 感 受 到
life very difficult, and I would have no
生 活 是 如 此 地 難 過 , 而 且 沒 有 任 何
pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
和 妳 共 同 生 活 的 愉 悅 , 我 想 把 我 的 心
to give, but it is not something that
奉 獻 出 , 但 這 顆 心 可 絕 對 不 是
I want to give to you. No one is more
獻 給 妳 , 沒 有 人 比 妳 更
foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
愚 蠢 和 自 私 , 妳 也 絲 毫 不
able to care for me and help me.
能 關 心 我 和 幫 助 我 。
I sincerely want you to understand that
我 懇 切 地 冀 望 妳 瞭 解
I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
我 句 句 發 自 肺 腑 , 我 相 信 妳 能 幫 我 個 忙 也 就 是
if you think this the end. Do not try
如 果 你 也 認 為 該 是 分 手 的 時 候 了 , 就 別 嘗 試 去
to answer this. Your letters are full of
求 證 我 所 說 的 這 一 切 , 妳 的 來 信 中 充 滿 著
things that do not interest me. You have no
令 我 意 興 索 然 的 物 事 , 妳 了 無
true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
對 我 真 摯 的 愛 。 再 見 了 ! 請 相 信 我 ,
I do not care for you. Please do not think that
我 的 心 已 不 在 妳 身 上 。 請 別 再 當 作
I am still your boyfriend.
我 依 然 是 你 的 情 郎。

Read only 1st and 3rd line… it is a whole new meaning!

Sunday, February 5, 2006

Lov3 is !n ai12

Valentine Weekend
Valentine Weekend falls on the 11th and 12th February 2006. FCC (Faith Christian Center) will have a special talk during the service. We also have a Q&A Session on Sunday afternoon at 2pm at FCC Lobby. We invite everyone and also to bring your new friends to come and join this special service.
An invitation to all... Even to non-christian friends, you are welcome to join us!
Location: No. 17-3 Jln PJS 8/546150 Bandar SunwayPJ, Sel, Malaysia
Contact number: 03-5635 859003-5635 8601
Really hope that I can see you all there =) Oh by the way, if you are interested in going and you are shy to contact the FCC group, do contact me and I will try my level best to get you there... God bless all of you..

.....@LL for Lov3....

All For Love
Hillsongs
All for love the Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love the heavens cried
For love was crucified
Oh how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive if only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me
Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You
Let me sing all for love
I will join the angels’ song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of Glory, King of all
All for a love a Savior prayed
Abba Father, have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the Cross draw man to You
Yes Lord, how many times have I broken Your heart? Millions? Trillions? Infinity I think.. Sorry Lord... I want to give You thanks as You have reminded me once again what is drawing me back. Today sermon touched my heart and when I was driving back home I burst out in tears.. "Raining" non-stop... The reason? Only You and I know.. Rubbish... is meant to stay in the dustbin not in my head... Clean those rubbish for me will You, Lord? You know I can't clear those with my own strength... I had tried and I had failed.
You then showed me this

"For it is said, All flesh is like grass, and all its glory like the flower of the grass. The grass becomes dry and the flower dead;But the word of the Lord is eternal. And this is the word of the good news which was given to you."
[1 Peter 1:24-25]

True, very true indeed... Putting faith in human will only make you fall.. I experienced it before.. Painful.. Hurt.. All because I do not put faith in You.. Thank you Lord for the comforting... Thank you for all You have done for me.. A sinner..

Friday, February 3, 2006

~再一次擁有~

再一次擁有 - 龔詩嘉

歌手:龔詩嘉

作曲:劉文仁
填詞:Devin Wu
編曲:吳慶隆

我想念去年的冬天

下著雪的那一夜
你給的溫柔 
緊握的雙手
溫暖整個寒冬

*失去了曾經的擁有 
在你離開以後 
帶走了笑容 
只留下寂寞 
忘了幸福是什麼 
沒有你的夜特別的漆黑 
只能閉上雙眼去感覺 
沒有我的夜 
誰在你身邊 
代替了那個從前

*REPEAT*
能不能再聽一次你說愛我
回到還在你懷裡的時候
能不能讓我 
再一次擁有曾屬於我的溫柔
能不能讓我 再一次擁有曾屬於我的溫柔

= poem to my Daddy God =

This is my first time writing a poem, and this is dedicated to my Daddy in Heaven.. I know it is not that good.. but I really hope He will be please with it.. Any comments and feedback are welcome...

...Poem...
You told me once that You will never leave me..
You told me once that You will never forsake me..
All this while I lean on You,
because all this while You have kept
what You had promise.
I have never felt so secure,
I have never felt so safe,
but when I'm in Your embrace,
that is all i sense.
Tones of obstacles,
Tones of obstructions,
Tones of troubles,
Tones of difficulties,
Thinking that I can handles all those
with my own bare hand
slowly draw me away from You.
I started to doubt,
doubt on Your present,
doubt on Your words,
doubt on Your works,
doubt on Your strength,
all I have in mind is
Where are You when life hurts?
You never fail in fulfilling Your promises,
but will this be Your first?
You proved me wrong,
You are always there,
but my eyes are always blindfolded by the world,
Worldly things,
Worldly stuff,
Worldly culture,
Worldly knowledge.
Corrupted my actions,
Corrupted my mind,
Corrupted my soul,
Corrupted my body,
Enough! Enough!
Enough of the worldly things,
Enough of the corrupted body,
Enought of anything that tends to stray me away from You.
All I want is to walk with You,
All I want is to be with You,
All I want is to see Your face,
All I want is to be in Your embrace.
when I asked You once again,
Where are You when I yearn for You?
You told me that
You are always besides me,
Never shall You leave me,
Never shall You forsake me
.

=巴士和石頭=

A friend of mine send me this story, I found it quite interesting and meaningful, I hope all of you would like it as I do..

=巴士和石頭=
一對戀人乘坐巴士進入山區, 只有他們在中途下車. 他們下車後, 巴士繼續往前駛. 巴士繼續行駛中, 一塊大石從高處跌下並把巴士壓得粉碎. 所有乘客無一生邊. 那對戀人看到這件事說: “ 如果我們都在那輛巴士就好了! 一般人會想說:” 還好我們剛好下車了!” 但是他們卻說了不同於一般人的話, 你認為他們為什麼會這樣…..

答案….
如果他們留在巴士沒有下車, 那輛巴士將會因為他們沒有下車而趕在大石掉下前駛過出事地點!
在我們生活中, 多嘗試以不同地角度來正面思考及多找機會去幫助別人, 別再不如不覺中一味自私地為自己活著了….

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

@ngel gal...

Happy Chinese New Year to all... May the Lord bless all of you abundently this year...

As I wrote earlier, I had a harsh start during the new year, I was hoping that I will have a better CNY turn out to be a disappointment..
"Angel.. Angel..." this is my "new" english name thanks to my dear uncle.. "Do you want to go to heaven?" this question is always in my head since the second day I am in Muar. My uncle kept asking me the same old question till the extend I tend to ignore him by smiling.. He never failed to asked my cousins as well..
How this came about? All because of GAMBLE... Is it wrong that I stop gambling? Is it wrong that i do what is right instead of wrong? Is it wrong then for me to say no to gambling? I am the ONLY person there who didnt gamble. I have no idea that I can be that strong, that afraid that I will hurt God's heart. my cousins even younger than me are gambling. I don't know why but my heart is some how aching..
Some how I don't really felt tempt by the cards. It has been 2 years I didn't gamble. a breakthrough to me.. I was a addicted gambler back then haha.. whenever I am at hometown, without fail i will gamble (only during CNY). All my relatives are shock when they heard that i didn't gamble.. See how addicted I am back then? Ok back to the "angel" story...
My uncle was saying that is it because the church don't allow me to gamble, I said no matter what you do you don't hold the account to the church but to God. I can still gamble if I want to do so is my own free will, but I am too fearful to do so.. I am afraid on the consequences that I will need to bare later on.. then my uncle said "ohh... want to be angel now la.. want to go heaven la..." and after that he kept on calling me angel, angel... angel this, angel that..
He told me how good is hell. He said in hell you can do whatever you like, you can gamble, you can drink, you can do whatever God said is bad for you. According to him, in heaven you need to wake up at 5 am do devotion , line up for breakfast, and you need to "carry" a very heavy wing at your back...

Know what I am thinking at that time?
"Lord, forgive him as what he's speaking he does not know."
I actually want to ask my uncle... Have he been to heaven? If no, how come you know we need to wake up at 5am and do devotion and stuff. If yes, will he still say all this and meant it?
Second will God allows you to carry something(wing) when He knows that you can't hold on to it?
Third, if hell is so good then how you define heaven? Do you think the devil will let you play or do stuff like gambling and drinking there? A point to ponder.... Devil is always associate with bad, evil, wick etc will you think he will let you "enjoy" in his place? I serisouly doubt that.. Even my cousin, a non-christian doubt that after hearing my explaination...
I am speechless on his action but I still hold on to what I believes. I strongly believes that God will touch their heart one day and they will be save. Amen..